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Kissing in a Christian Relationship

Disclaimer!
This post isn’t in any way aimed at judging anyone. Everything you’re about to read was inspired by God’s Spirit and coined from the Bible, research and my personal musings.

This is going to be a fairly lengthy post with a lot of scriptures because the Bible is our reference.

You may not agree with everything you’ll read here due to your mindset, denomination or perspective but it’d be great if you opened up your heart and be flexible enough to let the Holy Spirit minister to you through this post.

The issue of kissing in a Christian relationship is a very touchy and sensitive one but in today’s post, I won’t handle it as such.

So if you’re in a Christian relationship and you and your partner want to honor God as you head towards marriage, you need to read this.

If to you, this shouldn’t even be a topic of discussion because you think it’s perfectly normal to kiss or even have sex in a Christian relationship then I advice you to patiently read on also, you just might learn a thing or two.

If you’re vehemently against posts like this or you’re defensive because you’re already engaged in this act, then I encourage you to read as well because the sin you’re most defensive about is usually the most deadly to your walk with God.

This topic is a volatile one that may want to spread and lead to other things like sex, marriage and so on, but I will try to stay within the boundaries of what we’re talking about today.

I’ve had contemplations about this issue for years now, but God has helped me and brought an end to the tug of war in my mind as and I’ve been able to prayerfully articulate my thoughts, (though not in a very organized form) into this blog post.

I hope you’re blessed, edified and positively transformed as that is the aim of this post.
May the Holy Spirit minister to you as you read.

Titus 1:15 Christian Standard Bible
To the pure, everything is pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; in fact, both their mind and conscience are defiled.

The above scripture, although powerful and well meaning, has been used by many Christian to justify unholy and impure acts.

What is a kiss?

A kiss is the touch or pressing of one’s lips against another person or an object. Cultural connotations of kissing vary widely. Depending on the culture and context, a kiss can express sentiments of love, passion, romance, sexual attraction, sexual activity, sexual arousal, affection, respect, greeting, friendship, peace, and good luck, among many others – Wikipedia

The fact that kisses are a form of greeting should silence the religious shouts of protests that arise in your head every time you hear the word “kiss”.

Also, the word “kiss” is used 46 times in the Bible, in good context, so it can’t be a bad thing.

We have several forms of kisses and they serve different purposes;

  • Kisses can be used to show allegiance e.g when Samuel kissed Saul in 1 Sam 10:1.

1 Samuel 10:1 Then Samuel took a vial of oil, and poured it upon his head, and kissed him, and said, Is it not because the LORD hath anointed thee to be captain over his inheritance?

  • Kisses can be used to show friendship or love for family e.g Esau’s kiss to Jacob in Gen 33:4.

Genesis 33:4 And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept.

Please take note that Jacob’s kiss to Rachel in Gen 29:1 was one of affection and love for family as Rachel was his cousin.
  • Finally, we have the amorous kiss (also known as the “French kiss”) which we see in Songs of Solomon 1:2.

Song of Solomon 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.

This is the kiss we’re talking about.

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Read: Keys and scriptures for Christian relationships

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with showing appreciation and love through harmless kisses on the forehead or cheek, depending on your cultural environment and personal dealings with the Holy Spirit.
But you must know where to draw the lines between a kiss of love and appreciation and that of Lust.

The Amorous or French Kiss

1 CORINTHIANS 6:18–20

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

The “Amorous” Or “French kiss” is one that is directly linked to sexual activities.
It involves passion and arousal and more often than not, results in raging hormones which may eventually lead to fornication.

We must remember that our God is one that searches the heart and not just our actions. The posture of our hearts mean more to God than what we do, so if you have mastered a level of discipline to ensure that your physical touch with your partner does not lead to sex, but you do every other thing, (kissing, hugging, and even cuddling), with a lustful heart, you have fornicated already.

As simple as a hug seems, it can be sinful.

These are bitter pills, I know, but swallow them.

Unfortunately, many “virgins” in today’s world have fornicated many times without the actual physical penetration. This is one of the reasons, I believe why the World Sexual Purity Day (November 14th) isn’t about virgins but for everyone who has chosen to stay sexually pure for God because the moment you make the decision to become sexually pure and honor God with your body, He cleans your past and you start on a new note.

What’s the point of being in a Christian relationship and claiming to abstain from sex until marriage if you still have “unholy kiss”. You have all forms of unnecessary intimacy with your partner (apart from sex) but in your mind, you tell yourself “I know what I would have done to that sister/brother if not because we’re abstaining from sex for God”.

Brethren, who do we deceive? Remember, God can not be mocked.

Matthew 5:28– But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart

No matter how attached and connected you are, to your partner, if you have not been joined in marriage, God does NOT see you as one.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

These scriptures clearly state that God permits and honors the joining of a man and a woman ONLY when they have become one in marriage.

Of course they will definitely be times when our flesh will do what it does best, try to rule. Don’t feel bad about it, it’s normal.

Unfortunately, religion makes us feel filthy and unholy whenever we feel sexual urges but this is wrong because our sexuality should be celebrated and not despised. God created us that way and it’s for a purpose.

I’ve read of many cases of couples who got married and had issues with their sexual lives because of the prolonged mentality that sex is impure and unholy.

They got to a point where they couldn’t bring themselves to accept sex as God’s design and this could spell doom for a marriage. I chose to point this out so that we can balance this topic.

Read: Is Honeymoon compulsory?

Should we Kiss in our Christian relationship?

Our intimacy with God through worship is synonymous to a kiss. We are the bride of Christ, not His “girlfriend or fiancee” (lol), so there’s no form of intimacy that is not allowed between God and us because we are MARRIED to Him.

Having a deep form of physical intimacy with someone you haven’t been joined in marriage to, is SIN and the Bible tells us to FLEE.

A french kiss between two unmarried is very risky and absolutely unnecessary. Why start something you can not finish?

Romans 8:8– So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

If you’re here with the question “is it a sin if we kiss?”, then you’re looking for the wrong information.

1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

Apostle Paul recognizes that some things may not be sins in themselves but they are not necessary. Doing it only shows how much power it has over you.

The question isn’t if it is a sin, the question is if it’s profitable to your walk with God.

Is it expedient? Are you being brought under its subjection?

Imagine if things don’t work out eventually in that relationship and you marry someone else, you would have just been kissing someone else’s husband or wife☺.

In view of these, I encourage Christians who have contemplations concerning kissing in their relationship, to have an understanding that it’s not so much about the kiss as it is about the posture of your heart and your intentions.

Without deceiving ourselves, we all know when the lines have been crossed and an initial harmless hug, cuddle, holding of hands or kiss is no longer sincere and out of a pure heart. You must consciously ensure, you don’t cross the line into lust.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8)

Let me know what you think in the comment section.

Read also : Why you should pray with scriptures

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Pictures source: Pinterest

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Mysterious Legacies and Facts about Apostle Joseph Ayodele Babalola

The last book I read in 2017 was “Mysterious Legacies of J.A Babalola” by E.H.L Olusheye. I found it in my dad’s library few days to the end of the year and I immediately picked it up.

Apostle Joseph Ayodele Babalola was a Healing Evangelist, Apostle and Prophet. He was the first prophet to lead a great revival in Nigeria after raising a dead 10 years old boy in 1930.

He was also the first General Evangelist and founder of the Christ Apostolic Church Nigeria, a church that metamorphosed from a prayer group popularly called “egbe aladura”.

(I’ll use “Baba” to refer to Apostle Babalola in this post because that’s what I call him).

Prior to my reading the book, I had heard a lot about Baba from people like my Father, mother, pastors and so on as I was born and brought up in the Christ Apostolic Church but nothing they said really struck me.

I spent my formative years in the Christ Apostolic Church and back then, I always saw Baba’s picture in the Church and wondered why he was so important.

Fast forward to many years later, I had learnt more about Baba and seen that he was more than just a “mighty man of God”. Baba was legacy even while he lived, one of the greatest entities that treaded the surface of the earth.

His Birth.

He was born on the 25th of April 1904 to Pa David Lawani Rotimi and Madam Martha Talabi Rotimi. His mother narrated the several encounters she had before his birth. Angels appeared to her on her way to the farm telling her of the mighty man she was about to birth.

On the night of his birth, there was a very heavy rain fall and thunder like never before.

The Call.

Even though it was evident that there was a call upon the life of Baba due to the mysterious circumstances that surrounded his birth and strange experiences he had growing up, he didn’t get a direct call until 1928 while he worked as a steamroller along Akure-ilesha road by the river Ariran. He heard a loud voice from above like the roar of thunder which called his name thrice saying “Joseph! Joseph!! Joseph!!! Leave this job you are doing; if not, this year you are going to be cut off from the earth.” Again On 11 October 1928, while trying to repair his machine, he heard an audible voice from the Lord to abandon the job he was doing and start preaching. That is how he received the call and he went into fasting and prayer.

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The Water of Life (Omi Iye)

Another powerful fact about Baba was his indisputable healing power.

He was known to use water for healing which prompted the popular C.A.C song then: “Babalola Olomi Iye re o. Omi Iye, Iye, Iye, re o. Omi Iye… which means “Babalola with the water of life”.

People with all sorts of illnesses and diseases that came in contact with the water were immediately completely healed.

Predicted His Death.

Apostle Babalola was said to have been one of the few that had the rare privilege to know when they’d die. It was said that Baba predicted his death to his disciples during a three days fasting and prayer in 1957 at ikere Ekiti.

The Use of Psalms

Christ Apostolic Churches all over the world are known for the use of the book of “Psalms” in the Bible for prayers and supplications. This is a legacy that was left by our Father, Apostle Joseph Ayo Babalola.

Baba used different Psalms for different forms of prayers. He had Psalms for warfare prayers, protection prayers, prayers for favor and so on which he passed to his followers and is still being practiced till date.

The Prayer Mountain (Oke Aanu)

Baba was a man of prayers. He spent several days on mountains praying.

There is a mountain called “ori oke Aanu” (Mountain of mercy) in Erio-Ekiti in Ekiti state, Nigeria.

This mountain of prayer was founded by Baba. There is a spot on top of the mountain where he Kneeled to pray and his knee mysteriously pierced through from long hours of kneeling to pray leaving a giant hole in the rock. The hole remains there till date.

Related : 60 quotes from Apostle Joshua Selman that will change your life

Fasting and Prayers and The Python.

John 14:12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.

God used Apostle Joseph Ayo Babalola to trigger a spiritual awakening in his time that ushered people into a season of strange signs, wonders and occurrences. Babalola was a man who had strange passion for prayer and through the help of the Holy Spirit, he spent a large part of his life fasting and praying. He is said to have fasted for 40 days and nights more than twice in his life.

Once, while he was in a prayer retreat at Ido-Ajinare in Ekiti State, after hours of prayer, he heard a sound of a moving object in which the Lord instructed him not to open his eyes. As he continued in prayer, a large python crawled over him. Later God instructed him to open his eyes and he readily obeyed. Just a little distance from where he was lying down, the Lord pointed to the python who had been roasted as if an electric current had shocked it. With this evidence, God told him that he had turned him to coal of fire and that he had now become untouchable for evil powers. His dedicated prayer life and the manifestation of signs and wonders through charismatic gifts exposed the weakness and emptiness of most of the existing churches at the same time. His prayer life has become a challenge to the past, present and future generations of Christians. Evangelist Babalola was known to fast often for many days. At times, he would engage in marathon fasting and prayers for up to forty days. During this period, he would retreat to a secluded place or mountain tops to wait upon the Lord. There were many locations which he had taken as his prayer resort. Some of the most prominent ones were hill tops at Ido Ajinare, Ikoyi, Efon Alaye and ErioCAC – Oke Igbala Araromi

Apostle Joseph was a man surrounded by mysteries and the wonders he performed through the power of God cannot be exhausted.

Without any doubt, Nigeria is blessed to have hosted such a general.

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26 Worship Songs You Should Add To Your Quiet Time Playlist

There are certain songs I find myself listening to over and over again. Songs I listen to and think “this song was received for me”.

Worship is the lifestyle of every true Christian and songs and sounds are a great form of worship.

Whenever I’m down or clueless on what do during my quiet time, I resort to worship and I’ve discovered that you can never go wrong with worship.

Today, I’ll be sharing with you from my playlist, songs that have helped me draw closer to God and get intimate with His Spirit especially in this season.

I have compiled 26 songs, some from you my blog readers and others from my personal playlist that ignite my passion for God and make me long for His presence.

I hope they bless you and make you seek to go deeper with God.

1. Dance with me by Jesus Culture.

Behold You have come
Over the hills up on the mountain
Thereo me You will run
My Beloved You’ve captured my heart…

This song has been among my favs for a while now because of its depth. It’s one of the “old but gold” songs that continue touching my life over and over again.

You can watch the video here

2. A little longer by Jenn Johnson and Bethel Music.

Then I hear You say,
“You don’t have to do a thing
Simply be with Me and let those things go
They can wait another minute
Wait, this moment is too sweet
Please stay here with me
And love on Me a little longer”…

You can watch the video here

3. As it is (In Heaven) by Hillsong Worship

Whether now or then
Death is not my end
I know Heaven waits for me
Though the road seems long
I’ll never walk alone
And I got all I need to sing…

Ahhh This is like my favorite song for now, I was tempted to write all the lyrics because every word in this song ministers to me but you can get the lyrics and video here

4. I want to see You by Pastor Chingtok

I want to See You
I want to see see Your Face
I want to Know Your ways
I want to touch Your Grace
So I can live Your days
I want to See You…

Watch here

5. Unstoppable Love by Jesus Culture.

You broke into the silence, and sang a song of hope
A melody resounding, in the deep of my soul
You have come running, You tore down every wall
All the while shouting, “My love you’re worth it all!”…

Watch here

6. Mimo (Holy) by Tope Alabi

Mimo l’Oluwa o (mimo)
Angeli nwo mike o (mimo)
Awon orun nwo mike (mimo)
Egbagbeje irawo o (mimo)
Mimo l’Oluwa (mimo)
Angeli nwo mike o (mimo)
Awon orun nwo mike (mimo)
Egbagbeje irawo o (mimo)…

Watch Tope Alabi’s powerful ministration of “Mimo” (Holy) at Coza here

7. You are always there to help by Dr Paul Enenche

I will love You till the end
I will serve You till i see You
For Your everlasting love
Has drawn my whole being to you
My life is in Your hand;
Lord am your project in progress
And when you’re through with me;
All the praise belongs to you

watch


More Powerful Songs suggestions from my blog readers…


Cynthia E.

So will I by Hillsong –

And as You speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender so will I
I can see Your heart
Eight billion different ways
Every precious one
A child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I….

watch the video of this powerful song

I love this song a little too much.


Imelda E., Grace O. And Gaawa V.

Altar by Apostle Daps –
Oh speak from your heavens and the earth will hear
Oh speak from your heavens and the earth will hearr
As my praise is calling you OH GOD
my praise is calling you OH GOD

Download Here


Josh C.

Oceans by Hillsong –
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now…

watch Taya Smith perform oceans


James U. and Sadiya M.
New Wine by Hillsong
In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making
New wine
In the soil, I
Now surrender
You are breaking
New ground
So I yield to You and to Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand…
Lyrics and video


Adeola L.

Iba by Shola Allyson
Afuye gege ti o she gbe
Jigbin ni jigbin ni bi ate ileke
Kabiyesi mo se’ba re
Oba to ju gbogbo oba lo…

Lyrics and Download


Binga S.
Take me deeper by Don Moen
Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
to the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
a hope that will abide
Here in Your presence…
Lyrics


Praise A.

Stronger by Hillsong
There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner’s cross you broke my shame and sinfuless you rose again victorious
Faithfulness none can deny through the strom and through the fire there is truth that sets me free Jesus Christ who lives in me
Lyrics


Ma’am Sandra Areh

Holy Spirit by Martin PK

holy spirit
holy spirit
holy spirit
i love you
you guide me in all things
holy spirit
you opened my eyes
you have opened my eyes
holy spirit
now i realised with you i need nobody…
Lyrics


Caleb I. and Japheth J.

Do to me what you want by Dunsin Oyekan
This is the place of encounter
This is the place of surrender
This is the place where my flesh gives way
This is the place where my life is changed
Do to me what You want…
Download


Adegoke F

There is a place by Dr Paul Enenche
Lord let me feel the warmth of Your embrace
Let me feel the flame of Your love
Let me know the warmth of Your grace
Oh Lord the desire of my heart is for You
Lord let me feel the warmth of Your embrace
Let me feel the flame of Your love
Oh let me know the wealth of Your grace
Oh please let me dwell in Your Presence Oh Lord…
Lyrics and download


Monday A.

Yeshua by Nene Olajide
You never fail me and no matter what I go through
You never fail me and Your word is Yeah and Amen
You never fail me and Your Love is real and Crystal clear
You purify my destiny
Amplify my melody…

Lyrics and DDownloa


Adoleh J.

Crown the year by Hillsong
Now let the earth join the dancing
Deck her out in showers of spring
The dusk and dawn forever relay
The call to come and worship Him…
Video


Johnstone K.

Your Word by Hillsong
Deep calls to deep, within Your presence
When I hear You speak, my soul awakens
Your Spirit leads, my heart to worship
As Your Word reveals, the light of Jesus

The lamp unto my feet
The light unto my path…
Video


Gyeyork E.

More by Lawrence Flowers
Oh the worshiper in me wants to break free
From the intellectual mentality
Like when I should be up, I’m seated in my seat
I should be lifting my hands giving you praise and glory….
I should be giving you more…


Jasper D.

Set me ablaze by Jesus Culture
Breathe, come and breathe
On the coals of my heart,
May Your fire start
Breathe, come and breathe
On the coals of my heart
Keep me burning…


Vivienne A.

Grace to Grace by Hillsong
If love endured that ancient cross
How precious is my Savior’s blood
The beauty of heaven wrapped in my shame
The image of love upon death’s frame…


Dr Joseph N

Defender by Jesus culture
You go before I know
That You’ve even gone to win my war
Your love becomes my greatest defense
It leads me from the dry wilderness

watch

There! I hope they bless and ignite you. Whatever link was not found here can be found on google and YouTube.
What is your favorite worship song? Let’s talk in the comment section below.