It is wonderful when you finally meet the perfect guy, the one God has for you.
After spending years being single, searching and praying for God to bring you your amazing future husband.
Suddenly, you meet this guy who could be the one you have been praying and trusting God for.
But so many ladies get confused at this point.
They began to ask questions. Questions like;
“How do I know if he’s the one God has for me?”
“How do I know if I should marry him?”.
Here comes the point where many people miss it in marriage because of the decision they make.
In this blog post, we will discuss how to know if he’s the one God has for you, including signs he’s the one.
Signs He’s The One God Has For You.
1) A Confirmation From God.
This is one of the most important and number one you should take note of.
What God tells you trumps all other indicators.
And for you to know what God says, you need to have a level of relationship with Him.
If all other signs point to yes, but God tells you that he’s not the one, then he’s not the one. Don’t let your emotions get in the way.
And if God tells you that he’s the one and you see other signs that he’s not ready for a relationship, it may not be the right timing yet.
God is interested in who you marry because God created marriage and he wants you to marry right.
If you are praying to God and asking him to confirm if he’s the one, you can trust God to speak to you and confirm it.
God can speak in many different ways, and it’s important to be in tune with the Holy Spirit at all times.
God can speak to you in a dream, vision, and through his word.
Sometimes through your pastor or your friend by giving them a dream.
So, it is important to understand how the Holy Spirit speaks to you.
You won’t typically see actual, physical signs indicating that this guy is or isn’t the one.
Rather, God will speak to you through the Holy Spirit and His word to let you know if he’s the one.
2) His Love And Passion For God.
The second indicator that he is the one is if he genuinely loves the Lord and has a good relationship with him.
If this guy doesn’t love God or have a relationship with God, he most likely isn’t the one.
God makes it pretty clear in the Bible how important it is to be equally yoked and to only marry someone who loves the Lord.
Loving God should be considered a non-negotiable and not loving God, a deal breaker. So you need to be sure that he loves the Lord.
If he doesn’t love the Lord, then it is a sign that he’s not the one. So it is time to move on.
3) Spiritual compatibility.
Before you met, you might have had a different spiritual upbringing.
You might have grown up in a different denomination or church.
This might have affected how you both think and behave.
So it is important to know if you are both spiritually compatible.
Just because he goes to church with you doesn’t mean you are equally yoked.
And just because he says he is a Christian or that he loves God doesn’t necessarily mean you are on the same page.
What if he was just pretending?
Being spiritually compatible is important to God and He would not want you to marry someone that is not on the same page as you.
If this guy brings you further away from God, then this is another sign that he is not the one.
Your future husband should bring you closer to God, and if a guy pressures you to compromise your faith or values, then he is not the one God has for you.
4) You Have peace About The Relationship.
Having peace is an indicator that you are in line with God’s will for your life.
Peace is one way that God speaks to us.
Colossians 3:15 says: ” And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts, for as members of one body you are called to live in peace”.
If you both have a strong peace or reassurance that you are supposed to be together, this could be the Holy Spirit confirming that he is the one God has for you.
But if he seems like a great guy but you sometimes lose your peace around him, it is a sign, to pray and press into what God is trying to tell you.
After you have prayed, and you still don’t have peace about the relationship, this could be a sign that he is not the one or it’s the wrong timing to pursue a relationship.
5) He Loves You As Christ Loves You
In John 1, the Bible tells us that God showed us who love is by sending his only son to die for our sins.
The Bible also tells us to lay down our lives for each other, and specifically address that husbands should love their wives by laying down their lives ( making sacrifice) for her.
So the proof that he loves you, is if he is willing to sacrifice or lay down his life for you.
If he says he loves you but doesn’t put his love into action, then he may not be the one God has for you.
If a guy doesn’t love you as Christ loves you, it may not be love at all.
But if he does love you as Christ loves you, this is a sign that he could be the one.
6) He Lives Out God’s Word In His Life.
Words are futile without actions.
So even though a man speaks the words of God, if he doesn’t practice them you can conclude that he’s only pretending and not the guy sent to you by God.
You want someone who will be faithful and loyal to you, if he is not faithful to God, it’s best not to be together.
7) You Love and enjoy spending time together.
There may be some qualities or values that you love about him, for example, his passion for God and his word, his humility, and kindness, but do you enjoy spending time together?
Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away by their qualities and characteristics, but being able to enjoy the time you spend together is also important.
You don’t necessarily have to have all the same interests and hobbies.
But being able to find something that you enjoy doing together will be an important sign that he is the one.
8) He honors and respects you.
Honor and respect is the desire of every human.
And it is important that he honors, adores, and respects you.
If he doesn’t respect you as a woman and a person, it is a sign that he is not the one for you.
9) Your Individual God-given Assignments Align.
God has given everyone unique gifts, talents, and a purpose in this world, and God has a unique plan and purpose for your marriage.
You and your future husband’s gifts and purpose should complement each other in some form or fashion.
You have to always be on the same team.
You’re on the same team with your jobs, with the housework, with serving at the church, with the kids, and with everything you do.
It is important to identify your values, strength, and weaknesses to see how you can help each other to fulfill the plans and purpose God has for both of you.
10) He Is An Answer To Your Prayers.
Sometimes you know he’s the one God has for you when this man is an answered prayer.
Maybe you’ve been praying for your future husband to have certain qualities and characteristics and this guy has all these qualities that you’ve been praying for.
Or maybe you have been praying over a certain guy that you like for quite some time, and he is finally showing interest in you. This can be the answer to your prayers.
In conclusion, God desires that you marry right.
So it is important to take note of the signs above before you make your marital decision.
These are my personal notes from the message “The Voice Of God” by Apostle Joshua Selman at WAFBEC 2023.
WAFBEC 2023 – (The Voice Of Many Waters) – 6th January, 2023
Message Title – The Voice Of God by Apostle Joshua Selman
✍️ Longevity is the product of wisdom. Anything that lasts, does so because it is founded on wisdom.
Psalm 29:3-9, Ezekiel 43:1-2 ? “The voice of the Lord is over the waters; The God of glory thunders; The Lord is over many waters.” Psalms 29:3 NKJV ? “And behold, the glory of the God of Israel came from the way of the east. His voice was like the sound of many waters; and the earth shone with His glory.” Ezekiel 43:2 NKJV
? Scriptures make it clear that the advancement and progress of the believer principally depends on the believer’s ability to be led by the Spirit of God.
? There is no possibility for meaningful progress and growth outside of the voice of God. The believer was designed to continually depend on the voice of God for leadership and direction.
? Even Jesus Christ, when He came as flesh, was very vocal about His dependence on the leadership of God (John 5:19).
? “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.”Psalms 23:1-3 NKJV
? Failure to understand the voice of God and the nature of His leadership will stunt your spiritual progress and affect every area of your life.
⛸ Understanding the voice of God is an important pursuit for every serious believer.
? “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.” Romans 8:14 KJV
What is the Voice of God? ?The concept of the voice of God is not limited to His vocal communication or speakings only. The voice of God represents all the spiritual channels and pathways God uses to communicate His will and intent.
?The aim of the speakings of God is to communicate His will and intent.
?God’s power only finds expression within the jurisdiction of His Will.
?Since the power of God ONLY goes where His will and intent is, to access God’s power, you must be able to know his will and intent (hear His voice).
?If you can not perceive, receive, or discern the intent of God (hear His voice), you may never be able to experience His possibilities (His power).
?This is why the voice of God is so important – because His power follows His voice.
How does God speak? ? God speaks in different ways as recorded in scripture. (Heb 1:1-2)
? “God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds;” Hebrews 1:1-2 KJV
Some channels for God’s communication : I) Scripture (The principal channel). The Bible we have in our time, represents the voice of God. II) Dreams, visions and supernatural encounters. (As with Abraham, Joseph, Pharaoh) III) The prophetic (Hos 12:10) IV) The witness/knowing of the Spirit
? In whatever way you hear God, the end of your hearing should be that you now know and understand His will and intent. ?The proof of accurate hearing is a life that transforms into God’s will and intention with exactitude and precision.
What is the language of God? ✨ The language of God is LIGHT✨(1 John 1:5, Psalm 119:130). ?
? “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.” 1 John 1:5 KJV
? “While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.” Matthew 17:5 KJV
? God does not exactly speak any earthly language. His language is not the language in which His vessel communicated His intention through. His language is LIGHT ?.
? We have different/unique perspectives and will only accurately interpret God’s speakings to the degree to which we grab/understand His intention.
? God’s language is ?
❓What then are the dynamics of spiritual communication? How does the light become understanding to man?
?To know this, you must understand the design/spiritual composition of man.
✏ Man is Spirit hosted in a body. While the body is from the earth (dust), the spirit is from above, so both are incompatible. ?It is the mind (soulical component made up of the will, intellect, and emotions) that creates the bridge between both the body and the spirit. ?The body is the instrument of execution that carries out what the spirit intends as interpreted through the faculty of the mind.
? God communicates His intent as light. Your spirit receives that light and keeps it but it can not be profitable to you in that state until it is converted. ? God’s speakings as light has to be converted for you to understand it and act on it.
?There are times you know that your spirit has received something from God but you are unable to interpret / convert it.
❓How do you interpret God’s language (light)? – Your mind is the instrument.
? Your mind has a vital role to play in interpreting the speakings of God. Growing your spirit and ignoring the mind will limit your ability to hear God.
?Your mind, through learning and environmental conditioning has associated certain words and expressions to certain feelings.
? The healthier/richer your mind is, the more it can create the words and expressions that interpret the light you have received from God (God’s language).
? You can hear the voice of God (light) but because your mind is limited (you have ignored the place of transformation), you are unable to accurately interpret the speakings of God. This can lead to all forms of error in carrying out that word due to misinterpretation.
? Jesus (The Word) had to study the Word (scriptures) when He came to earth, to be able to interpret it well (He was at the temple from age 12, learning under the elders and Pharisees & discussing scripture – Luke 2:41-52). ? Even though Jesus was the Word incarnate, He paid the price to equip His mind with the requisite vocabulary that interprets the speakings of God with accuracy. This is what we must do too – have a rich WORD-BASED construct to be able to accurately interpret God’s speakings (Phil 2:5). ?
??♀️ The assignment of the mind in this context is to give the light of God that you have received in your spirit, vocabulary expression so that understanding can be established (for you and even others).
? It is possible to understand the will of God (accurately interpret the language / speakings of God ?) and this is made possible by your level of wisdom. – ?“Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:17 KJV
? Sometimes, your disobedience or laxity in action to God’s Word is not willful or intentional. It is just a revelation that you do not understand or are unable to interpret God’s speakings. So you do not know what to obey.
?You can not manifest faith (obedience) without accurately interpreting God’s speakings. ?Your obedience becomes easier when your understanding is fruitful.
? Your mind is an important part of this equation because, the wiser and more intelligent you are, the more intellectual and meticulous your interpretation of God’s speakings will be. This is why scriptures instruct us to be transformed. (?“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2 NKJV)
? Transformation gives you an array of scriptural options to accurately interpret the light you have received in your spirit.
? “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,” Philippians 2:5 NKJV
?Just as the quality of a device can misinterpret the text or message sent to it because it does not have the software to interpret it, the quality of your mind can distort or misinterpret the speakings of God.
? Even though Jesus was the Word incarnate, He paid the price to equip His mind with the requisite vocabulary that interprets the speakings of God with accuracy. This is what we must do too – have a rich WORD-BASED construct to be able to accurately interpret God’s speakings (Phil 2:5). ?
??♀️ The level of transformation of your mind by the Word of God will determine your ability to interpret light (God’s Voice/speakings). It will also determine the level of accuracy with which you interpret It.
☘️ For as long as you ignore the supremacy of God’s Word by failing to contend for transformation, there will be gaps in your perception and interpretation of God’s speakings (His will).
?The more you immerse yourself in the Word of God, the more you equip your mind with healthy scriptural tools to interpret the speakings (light) of God.
? This is the reason why it is a risk to trust a person who does not respect and study the Word but claims to hear God and communicate the speakings of God.
? Do not trust the hearing of a person who claims to hear the voice of God but does not study the Word. They are prone of high level misinterpretation and error because the Word of God is not the basis of their vocabulary composition.
? Such a person may receive the light of God in the place of prayer (His speakings) but due to faulty hearing (inadequate transformation), their interpretation ends up deviating people from God’s intention.
? For people called into the Apostolic and Prophetic ministry, pressing in the place of prayer will expose you to the realm of the spirit and the many voices therein, ( 1 Corinthians 14:10 KJV) thus, there is a need to verify if what you actually heard is God’s voice and a need to see how it was interpreted.
? “There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification.” 1 Corinthians 14:10 KJV
? Even Satan can appear as an Angel of light so there is a need to verify. ? You can not verify that a person’s speakings are from God just by the pleasantness of what was heard but by vetting the richness of the Word component resident in the vessel at the time that they heard the “voice.”
⚱️We live in perilous times when there is a heightened need for discernment.
?You do not discern by superstition. Discernment happens at the instance of your stability through the Word (Being grounded in the word). It is on the basis of this stability that you can decipher by the character of scripture and distinguish what is of God from what is not.
? “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;” 1 Timothy 4:1 KJV
??♀️ Discernment will help you immediately detect seducing spirits that come to mimic God and try to deceive you. ?♀️ The character of seduction (seducing spirits) is that they make you desire what they are offering.
? People can come (even from the place of prayer) with prophecies and those prophecies are still not of God because when judged from the lenses of the authority of scripture, they are found wanting. Taking steps based on such prophecy is dangerous. The result will not be the glory of God because it was not the will or intention of God.
❤️? As a believer, you must be discerning even when a person who claims to be communicating the voice of God speaks. You discern by your stability in God’s Word.
? When you fail to contend for transformation, you stand the risk of aborting longevity (you will not last).
? If you never hear God’s audible voice but respect the authority of God’s Word (The Bible), it is accurate enough to lead you with precision, even with prophetic precision. The Word of God (the Bible) has been tried seven times. It is a more sure Word of prophecy (Psalm 12:6, 2 Pet 1:19)
? Respect a person’s administration of spiritual gifts only to the degree to which they respect the authority of God’s Word (Scripture). ?
?The margin of safety for the believer is dwelling with the Word. ?
??♀️ Obtain grace from God to settle down with scripture and let it dwell in you richly. ? “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” Colossians 3:16 KJV
? The degree to which the Word has dwelt in you richly is the degree to which you will access His possibilities. (Acts 20:32, Eph 4:18) ?“And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.” Acts 20:32 KJV ?“having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:” Ephesians 4:18 KJV
Wrapping Up
? The voice of God represents every spiritual channel that God is able to use to communicate His will and intent. ? The most important component in the voice of God is not His speakings but the safe transference of His intent from His heart to your heart. ⚙️ For that to be safely done, every channel that midwives the process will be enhanced by the health of your mind.
?Remember, the power of God is responsible for the manifestation of all the possibilities found in the life of the believer and that power only functions within the will of God and to be in His will, you must be able to accurately interpret His voice. That is the relevance of this teaching.
PS: whenever the Word of God functions outside of His will, the aim is to bring the person or situation into His will.
? Everytime God’s speaks, it is to the end that His will is established.?
? It is important to respect the authority of God’s Word.
? While you are waiting to hear God, dwell in scriptures so that when God speaks, your mind won’t interpret in error.
?Ways To Know God (Side Note) ?
Through Scripture: Scripture reveals the character of God. By studying, we know the modus operandi of God.
Through His names: God’s names capture His various dimensions.
By studying Jesus Christ: He is the express image of the invisible God (Heb 1:3). Everything the prophets of old said about God can be vetted using Jesus as reference. Anything attributed to God can be debated if it wasn’t found in Jesus. It can be that they interpreted wrongly, were limited, or were in error. (E.g “a lying spirit went out from God (1 Kings 22:22)” but scriptures say of Jesus that “he was full of grace AND TRUTH (John 1:14)” so using the reference of Jesus, lying is not in the character of God. ?
Through our experiences: (?“I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: But now mine eye seeth thee.” Job 42:5 KJV)
Contd. ??♀️ Your focus should not be on getting God to speak because God definitely speaks. Your focus instead should be on getting prepared and building capacity to receive His speakings and interpret them well. That way, you will know how to reject the speakings of the devil if it comes.
?♀️ Being desperate to hear God’s voice without being prepared will leave you vulnerable to different speakings.
? God speaks ?
? Your duty is to work on your ability to accurately perceive His communications.
⚠ You must be careful not limit God’s speakings to certain ways alone just because those are the channels you are familiar with.
? God is a father and can honor the simplicity of your heart and faith and speak to you through the channels you’re familiar with but He is not restricted to those channels only. God is King and has the authority to use from a plethora of options.
? Your assignment is to make sure your spirit is robust enough to discern.
? Fasting and prayer helps you ascend and builds your spirit to the point where you can resonate to the frequency of the speakings of God. ?But it doesn’t end there, you must dwell in the Word to be able to interpret what you hear with precision, balance, and exactitude.
? The basis of our remaining in accuracy and precision as we minister the Word and guide believers to higher spiritual experiences will not be based on spiritual gifts or agelong (limited) mentorships but on the accuracy of God’s Word.
? We must return to the Word of God and obtain grace from God to bring accurate & healthy perspectives to spiritual speakings.
This is the only way God’s people will be built holistically. ?
? Copying God’s instruction to one person without understanding the intention of God for that instruction will leave you frustrated. Because what worked for them can become a limiting factor for you.
Prayer: ????♀️??
Father, I obtain grace to contend for transformation by the Word. I submit all my spiritual experiences no matter how great or spectacular to the authority of scripture for proper interpretation and vetting so that I do not walk in error.
Father, grant me the grace to be a student of scripture. Plant a hunger for the Word in me so that I can contend for transformation and give you the tools to accurately interpret the light that comes upon my Spirit.
The Christian girl’s guide to navigating quarter life crisis.
You most likely have heard a lot about midlife crisis and the host of symptoms that come with it. But have you ever come across quarter life crisis? You may be experiencing it without even realizing it.
While midlife crisis affects people in their 40s to 50s, quarter life crisis affects younger people. It can happen anytime from their early twenties into their thirties.
What is a quarter-life crisis?
Forbes defines quarter-life crisis as a period of “intense soul-searching and stress.”
“A crisis involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person’s early twenties up to their mid-thirties.” – Wikipedia
A survey shows that few Gen Zs and a good percentage of millenials, up to 86% have experienced a quarter-life crisis. This shows that quarter life crisis is more common than it is spoken about. In the survey, these young people opened up about the different causes of their stress; some were about the greatly dreaded finances (AKA money), others involved career and business pressure. Not leaving out the pressure to get married, start families, and settle down.
Today, we’re going to be looking into quarter life crisis, the symptoms, age range affected, and the best ways to deal with and come out of it.
Quarter life crisis can be subtle in some cases and in other cases, it can be so severe that it affects the mental health of the individual involved. With the heightened level of social media consumption in our time, it has become easy to get invested in the lives of others, get thrown into the ugly room called comparison and sink even deeper into quarter life crisis.
One clear sign that a young person is likely in it is that they start becoming a jack of all trades; getting involved in any and everything they can lay your hands on, all in a bid to make some sense and meaning out of their life.
Just in case you still aren’t sure if you’re experiencing or have experienced quarter life crisis, these are a few more symptoms of quarter life crisis.
Lowered self esteem
Feeling purposeless and confused.
Losing motivation even for things you love.
An overwhelming feeling of meaninglessness. Feeling like you’re wasting time and not making progress.
Always feeling indecisive.
Always wondering “what next?”
Feeling consistently anxious. Maybe even depressed.
Abnormally stressed and fatigued.
Fearful about making decisions even if they’re good ones.
If you are experiencing up to three of these symptoms and you’re within the age range of 21 and 36, there’s a high chance that quarter life crisis has her fangs on you.
Because human beings differ and their situations are unique, the dynamics of quarter life crisis can differ. The triggers also differ. So while some people experience this without any external influence, for others, certain things trigger it. The triggers can be:
Transitional moments (graduating, moving to a new city, breakups, end of friendships, etc)
Job loss, unemployment or underemployment.
Living alone for the first time.
Binging on social media pages nonstop.
Grief
Marriage Etc
Practical ways to handle quarter life crisis.
Quarter life crisis, if handled well, may be the vehicle that leads you to your best season yet. And may even set a beautiful tone for the rest of your life. Here are a few ways to handle it.
Understand that nothing is wrong with you. Quarter life crisis happens to 90% of people around your age. It’s a somewhat natural phenomenon. So you need to get out of your head and be fine. Allowing it hold you down indefinitely will only mean one thing – you’re going to be at the same spot for a long time.
State out your values. This phase is one that can lead you to making rash decisions that you ordinarily wouldn’t make. You must take some time to take an introspective look and have a conversation with yourself about the things you hold dear. Reflect on your past from a mindset void of judgement and decide to do better. Make your principles and values clear to yourself. Before you move forward, you want to be sure you know what you stand for.
Build healthy habits Instead of staying confused and anxious, why not begin to make yourself better for you. We are what we repeatedly do. Thus, the best way to become a better you is by developing better habits; reading helpful books, exercising, eating right, meditating, listening to good music, sleeping well, etc.
Get into a community Depending on where they’re at and who they are, this can look different for everyone. You may need to join a service department in your church, a volunteer program, an outreach, etc. If you have a group of friends, become more involved with them.
Speak with wise older people. What is a challenge to you is a past victory for someone else. Getting wise counsel. This may also come in form of useful materials like books, sermons, videos, etc.
Journal Since this is a phase, it is important to document how you feel in these moments and how you’re handling it. This may be someone’s survival guide tomorrow. Or maybe not. But you’re most likely going to feel better after journaling.
Become better at what you do. Your career, business, family, etc. There’s a higher level than where you’re currently at. Seek to get there.
Get closer to God. In the end, it all really boils down to God. He alone knows your past, present, and future. He knows what’s best for you and knows how to carry you through the different seasons of your life and usher you into your purpose and assignment. Nurture your relationship with God and prioritize it. Go on frequent social media breaks and retreats where you just focus on God and other important things. Pray for clarity and direction. Quarter life crisis may be the journey that leads you to find God.
