Currently I am listening to Love is war by Hillsong
Turn my eyes to see Your face
As all my fears surrender
Hold my heart within this grace
Where burden turns to wonder…
It’s break time before my next test and I’m currently in class putting this down because I know I may be unable to afford the luxury of time later on. One of the purposes of this blog is to share my day to day challenges, how the Holy Spirit helps me overcome them and the lessons He teaches me from them.
I write tests almost everyday now and so this is my current state
My current state
It’s only natural to want to intensely study for the closest test but there’s always this imbalance it creates; trying to be careful for the closest test or for the test on the “more” important course, you intensely focus on it almost forgetting the others which can affect you. Yesterday, my reading partner Kabiru said “Sarah try not to prioritize, it could be dangerous” so I’m currently learning how to balance reading for every course at the same time so I don’t excel at some courses and find myself struggling at others. This alone is a word of deliverance for a student today Hallelujah! *lol*.
Some days back, I took a practical test on Osteology (Study of bones) which I had really studied and prepared for, but few hours before the test, the devil trued to sweep a wave of depression over me. I felt discouraged and too weak to read anything so I went into the ladies’ dressing room (now I know I shouldn’t have) to revise and rest before entering the laboratory for the test.
Few minutes after I had entered, some ladies came in and began saying certain things that were discouraging. Have you ever been around people who aren’t as “serious” as you are about God and their speech made you feel like a fool for “carrying God on your head”?
That was my situation. The ladies (Christians) began speaking about people who were too serious about God and how they still aren’t the best pupils and some of them were even failing in school. They said so many things that really affected me because I couldn’t understand why Christians would speak in such manner. In no time, I became depressed and uncomfortable.
It was just few minutes to my test and I regretted remaining in the room with them. You see, your atmosphere is very important. Some atmospheres carry certain things that you don’t want so you need to be very careful who you stay around and what you listen to.
You have to be very stingy with your inner ears lest you permit the wrong information in.
I was tensed, I couldn’t revise anymore and I seem to have magically forgotten everything I read so I got up, put on my lab coat and said a short prayer then I walked to the lab. I took the test, still unsettled and I forgot the name of many structures as a result.
I was devastated after the test. I knew I had studied and prepared but few minutes in the wrong atmosphere ruined everything.
The next morning, my lecturer came in and to worsen my situation, he started saying the answers to the questions of the test which I knew I didn’t write.
After the class, I went out and spoke with Sadiya and told her I wrote rubbish in my tests and she said (I paraphrase)
“The rubbish you wrote is none of your business. You studied, prayed and wrote, you have done your part. Insist that your result be excellent whether you wrote the right thing or not. The bible said “Study to show thyself approved” not “Study and make sure you remember and write everything correctly”. Besides I wrote this same practical test last year and had a 24% but I still made up in other tests and passed the course while others who seemed to have excelled in the practical test failed the course generally and have to take it again this year. Be very confident, you have done your part, you won’t just scale through but you’ll have an excellent result”.
You need godly friends around you; I can’t stress this enough. Surround yourself with a kingdom community of friends.
Sadiya’s words birthed this post because as at that point, I was clueless on what post to make today. So this post is dedicated first to Sadiya then to every Christian struggling with becoming the best at work, career, projects or life generally.
The fact that we’re Christians does not mean we get it right all the time. That we love and serve God faithfully doesn’t mean we won’t make extremely foolish mistakes. We’ve submitted ourselves totally to God but we’re still human and the flesh is tricky.If we have it all together all the time, where does Grace come in?
So when we fall and fail, don’t laugh at us just yet because we have the backing of the host of heaven and our come back will be greater than our setback.
I’ve learnt this and it has brought me to a point where I totally trust God and am confident in my relationship with him.
So even when I make mistakes, I don’t dwell on them and make them mountains, instead I see them as open doors for Grace to step in and work and if at the end of the day I don’t get the expected result, I’m still at peace because we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Currently I am trusting God for a new phone because my phone is going bad and I feel like God intentionally shut all the channels I thought the phone would come from bringing me to a point where my trust is only in Him.
Currently, I am slaying in mom jeans.
Finally, I’m currently spreading the love of Jesus to people around me. I just find myself blessing people financially, with God’s love and with God’s Word, children and adults alike.
I did a few things yesterday that felt really good;
- I stopped two children from fighting and made them friends again just by telling them Jesus didn’t want them to fight. They apologized to each other and said “Thank you aunty”. My heart melted.
- I also paid transport fare for children going home from school who didn’t have enough and wanted to walk all the way and
- I shared God’s Word with a classmate and spoke to him about how interested Jesus is in his personal life and he made the decision to delete secular songs from his phone and get songs from me today.
These things matter very much to me because one of my prayers last week was that God helped me genuinely love and care for people and to effectively express His love for me to them.
What are you currently doing?
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See you guys next week.