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Relationship || Is Honeymoon Compulsory? – Lessons from Mrs Tolulope Adejumo

Lately, I’ve been on YouTube very often and it’s been amazing. There’s so much to learn out there. I’ve been seeing videos both for school work and on other areas of life.
One of the channels I recently discovered is Tolulope Solutions run by Mrs Tolulope Adejumo.
Mrs Tolulope Adejumo is the wife of Gbemiga Adejumo and she is a Marriage, Faith and Lifestyle Vlogger and just in case you were wondering, yes, she’s the daughter inlaw to Mummy Funke Felix Adejumo.

Mrs Tolulope’s vlog has blessed me in divers ways particularly in matters relating to relationship and marriage so I’m going to be making lots of posts talking about her videos but for today, I’ll be talking about honeymoon.

Few days back, I saw a video on her channel which caught my attention.

In this video, she spoke about financial challenges in relationships. She said something that really shocked me which was that she and her husband had had plans of going to Dubai for their honeymoon and they had already gotten the visa but then they realized they didn’t have enough money for that and they didn’t want to borrow to get married, they also thought of everything they’d need to start a new family and decided to put the honeymoon plan on hold.

Brethren, they didn’t go on honeymoon until 6 months after their wedding!

DELAYED GRATIFICATION

Job 8:7 Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase.
1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Becoming an award winning wife most times, doesn’t depend on how well you can dress and cook but on how wise and prudent you are and how much you’re willing to sacrifice to ensure that your family is in a good shape.

Proverbs 31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

The Adejumos chose to postpone traveling for honeymoon until it was convenient for them and for their future home after all, the honeymoon itself is a mentality.

You can choose to go to a nice place in the country or even stay in your new house and give each other treats, if that is what it’ll take to have a comfortable home free of debt

Please take note that the Sir Gbemiga Adejumo is from a wealthy background and so is his wife so it was easy for them to get money from their parents if they were desperate about going out of the country on honeymoon.

This post is for everyone but particularly for any bride to be, reading.

You can’t have it all together before your wedding, therefore there’s a need to make a scale of preference. Luxuries that do not mean much to your marriage are NOT compulsory if you can not afford them at the moment.

Delayed gratification involves postponing temporary enjoyment for better, bigger and more important things. We’re working and moving to greatness but before we get there, how willing are we to endure and sacrifice?

It is often said that don’t own a bag of #1000000 that contains just #10, instead own a #10 bag with #1000000 in it.

Cultivate the habit of keeping or postponing unnecessary luxury until you can comfortably afford it. This is not to encourage misery or stinginess, it is to encourage you to set your priorities right.
It is good to live a good life but not at the expense of your future.
I’ve seen my parents opt for items that were not too expensive when they had the option of picking the more expensive one which they could afford and I would wonder why. I later came to realize that they had aims and goals hence the scale of preference and when their plans began to play out, I loved it better than I would have loved the former so I trust their judgement till today. If they had desperately wanted instant gratification or cared about what they’d look like to people, they would have made many unwise and irrational decisions.

Most people don’t look like their bank accounts, they choose to work and invest privately while looking like they have nothing so they can afford the lives they want to live in future.

Avoid instant gratification if it’s too costly for your future.

What’s your take on delaying honeymoon? Let me know in the comment section.

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IMPORTANT KEYS AND SCRIPTURES FOR A HEALTHY CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIP.

The world has different pictures of what an “ideal relationship” is and should be. Everyone seems to know what is required to maintain a great relationship.

Christians in love relationships ought to know that they’re different. They can’t subscribe and conform to the world’s description of “dating”.

As much as we’d love to go with everything trending, we have a blueprint and a template in the Bible.

This doesn’t mean Christian relationships are boring and no fun or that they’re rigid, monotonous and the same. No.

In fact, they’re very interesting, fun and fulfilling.

God is love so it’s only wise that His Word be our reference for Love related issues.

That you and your partner are Christians doesn’t make you both perfect. Neither does it mean the relationship will be without challenges or that your effort isn’t needed to make things work.

Painfully, I’ve watched many people in love relationships who love God and each other go their separate ways due to “unreconcilable differences”. Fights and disagreement that could have been avoided or sorted out led to huge messes that eventually erupted into something that couldn’t be fixed.

I’m not a relationship expert but from God’s Word, books I’ve read and people I’ve seen, I’ve coined out major ingredients that are very essential for a Christian relationship to thrive and scriptures in line.

Yes, you can have a happy Godly relationship with someone who loves God as much you do.

It is important you read this if you’re in a relationship to make things better and if you’re not to plan ahead.

Apart from passionately loving your partner, here are few very important keys you must know.

As you read, may your spirit he receptive and open to learn and make corrections.

Love God FIRST

A lot of people cry to God for partners, someone they can worship God and serve the purposes of His kingdom with, but as soon as that person comes walking into their life, guess what happens?

Yes, you guessed right. God is taken to the back seat.

How do you expect your “GODLY” relationship to thrive without GOD?

Matthew 22 37-39

NIV

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Nothing and nobody should come before God, not even your partner.

Your time for God shouldn’t decrease because you got into a relationship.

Scrolling through your phone looking at their pictures shouldn’t replace flipping through your Bible to know the mind of God.

Night calls shouldn’t replace your quiet time and prayer time.

God wants you to love selflessly but He must come first in your heart and that of your partner. He is a jealous God.

When you get so caught up in the euphoric atmosphere of “being in love” that you forget God, it is only a matter of time before that love begins to fade and wane.

Sacrifice

Relationships are all about giving. The Bible tells us that God so loved the world and as a result of the love He has for us, He GAVE His only begotten son.

No relationship can thrive without sacrificial giving. You can’t always have enough for two and that is where sacrifice comes in.

The greatest proof of love is sacrifice.

Time, money, ego and more will have to be laid down for the sake of your partner. Sacrifice involves putting your partner first.

1 John 3:16 NIV: This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

Intercession

The name of your partner should not only be in your mouth when you want to tell people of the amazing things they do. Their name should always be mentioned in your prayers.

Always pray for your partner.

They may be going through things they can’t discuss with you or fighting battles they don’t want to bother you with. Always stand in the gap and intercede. Your prayers can avert dangers they didn’t even know were looming above them.

Always pray for your relationship.

The Devil hates to see anything that looks good for God’s Kingdom so he can send in little seeds and vices in an attempt to destroy what you’re building. When you’re ignorant of his devices, little things will creep in and all of a sudden, you “don’t feel too right” about it anymore.

Accountability

“Accountability is willingness to explain your actions” – Dr Mike Murdock.

I was under a teaching during the week and the speaker said he’d been trying to teach his lady about accountability.

He said accountability starts from the little things like explaining why you missed your partner’s call or why you’re late for your meeting or date.

Being accountable, entails you acknowledging that you can’t do things anyhow and explaining why when you do.

Tolerance.

(Note that I’m not talking about abuse, harmful habits or toxic relationships)

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3, NLT),

Many people expect perfection from others so they begin to complain and feel uncomfortable when the flaws of their partner is revealed to them.

Nobody is perfect even if they’re Christians. That your partner loves God does not make them God.

They’ll love you enough to work on certain traits you’re not comfortable with but you must also love them enough to put up with other flaws that they can’t seem to get rid of.

Forgiveness

And learn to let go.

1 Peter 4:8NIV: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

If any party lacks the ability to forgive in a relationship, the end of the relationship is very near. Sometimes, don’t ask questions, just forgive and let go.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32, NASB)

Praying together.

Matt 18:19

ESV:Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

20

ESV:For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Praying together is a great form of intimacy.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy,
Love does not boast,
Love is not proud.

Love

does not dishonor others,
Love is not self-seeking,
Love is not easily angered,
Love keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Love

always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Related post: 10 Amazing marriages ???? I follow and lessons I’ve learnt.

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While You Still Have You….

Life as a single is fun.

You don’t know how much freedom and fresh air you have until you get into a relationship.
Being single, helps you discover yourself to a large extent and that’s why it’s not advisable to rush into relationships.

The way you spend your time as a single, determines the kind of relationship you end up in.

Your single life is the only time you have you all to yourself

Believe you me, the moment you get into a relationship (not even marriage), you loose a great part of your alone time, some things will suffer. 

The time to actually find yourself is when you’re single. Please don’t go in search for a partner when you haven’t found you.

While you’re still single, is the time to actually press in for more. Search for God.

In his book waiting and dating, Dr Myles Munroe said 

  Being alone as a single person has many advantages, especially for a believer. One of the greatest of these is the opportunity to give undivided attention to the pursuit of spiritual growth and a deep relationship with the Lord.

The time you are most prepared for dating is when you don’t need anyone to complete you, fulfill you, or instill in you a sense of worth or purpose. You are ready to date when you have first learned how to be single. Learn how to be alone.

Contentment with being alone involves learning how to be fulfilled in your singleness. A truly single person is one who is complete physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else. Successful singles find their personal identity and sense of wholeness within themselves and in relationship with God. Because they are complete within themselves, only  whole individuals are fully comfortable being alone. They can thrive and prosper whether or not they are involved in a relationship. For such people a relationship is an added blessing; it is icing on the cake.

Be complete in God and in yourself first

Do what you have to do, read as much books as you can, pray as long as you want, reach out to as many people as you can (when you get a partner, there are certain people you won’t be able to reach out to, fully. You’ll be restricted). 

Spend time with God.

If you spend your single life with Him, He won’t let you fall into wrong hands.

The best place to find a godly person is on the road to God’s Kingdom.

The best place to find the right person is on the road to fulfilling your purpose.

To the singles, please do what is needful while you still have you.