Making decisions can be a daunting experience. From little decisions like what shoes to wear to huge decisions like what friends to keep, career path to choose, relationship to go into or even who to marry.
I used to have such a huge dilemma whenever I had to pick. I see myself as an indecisive person sometimes. I could sit at a store for hours wondering what to go for. I could sit with two dresses for minutes wondering which to pick. Imagine me trying to make huge decisions. Whoa!
I take as much time as I can just because “I don’t want to make the wrong decision”. While my fear is really not necessary, it is valid because the decisions we make have direct implications on our tomorrows.
This is why I outlined a few things that help me and will help every Christian woman make better decisions faster.
Personally, I think this is the first thing every believer faced with different choices should do.
Wait. I’ll explain what I mean by filter.
Picture this: You’re about to bake a cake and you’re faced with bag of flour. You need just two cups of the flour and you proceed to take out your measuring cup. Then something happens.
You notice some coarse and rough particles inside your flour. Do you proceed to take out the flour like that or you sieve first? I want to believe you’ll sieve first.
The rough particles represent those options that should be taken out immediately because, they are outrightly wrong, bad and even harmful to us.
This is the first thing you should do when faced with a decision. Using our flour and particle illustration, employ the elimination principle by first taking out the options that are rough particles – unpleasant.
There are certain options that are outrightly bad. As a believer, there are certain things you should steer away from without being told. Some options are clearly wrong. Don’t make deciding more difficult for yourself.
Eliminate the options that are outrightly bad for you. I don’t want to give practical examples but I’ll throw caution in the wind and give one.
Jane is trying to grow her relationship with God and 4 different guys are asking for her hand in marriage. Brother 1 is a normal church goer, number 2 is an unbeliever, number 3 is a choir leader, and number 4 is a free thinker who has a very nonchalant outlook and attitude to God.
Using the elimination principle, Jane can make her decision easier by taking out number 2 and 4 even before she begins to pray about it because you can be 99% certain that they are not the will of God for her life. This goes a long way to reduce her deliberations. This does not mean that any of the other two guys are automatically right, but it helps narrow her focus more.
The Lenses of the Word.
One reliable way to make better decisions as a woman of God is to look at the options available through the lenses of God’s Word. God’s Word is meant to be a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. This means that taking steps and making decisions without the Word is basically walking in darkness. You can’t take steps in darkness and expect not to miss a step. Judge everything through God’s Word.
Prayer has a way of making things align. Prayer is a very great place to start if you are confused. Pray to clear your head. Pray to see more clearly. Pray to clear off confusion. Pray enquiry prayers to get answers and inclinations.
Listen to your inner witness
You have been given the Holy Spirit as a seal for your salvation. This means that the Holy Spirit dwells in you and He guides you. Listen.
Think long-term and delay gratification.
It is a natural thing for humans to want what satisfies and brings immediate pleasure. This is good, however, some instant pleasure have unpleasant effects on the future. The decision you’re about to make is likely linked with your future. Will this choice have a bad effect on your tomorrow? If you see marriage and having kids in your future, will this decision contribute to having a great marriage and raising awesome kids? How about your health? Does this decision do good to your body long-term or does it have future unpleasant effects?
A wise woman would rather bear her burden now than push it off till later. Think long-term.
After making a decision, you should do the following:
Be confident about your decision: Many times, after choosing to take a stand for what is right, you may begin to have doubts about it. Especially if you made a choice that is not popular. The opinions of people may even make you feel like you have done something stupid. You must learn to be confident in what you have chosen. Be proud of it and own it. Be responsible and ready for whatever
outcome it brings. Doing this will be easier if your decision was guided from the beginning using the steps above.
Expect great results: Don’t accommodate fear and thoughts of things going wrong. Expect good things to happen.
“You and only you are responsible for your life choices and decisions.” Robert T. Kiyosaki