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10 Things We Have Learned About Marriage Through Experience In Five Years Of Marriage – Pst. Isaac Adinoyi of Koinonia Global

My Wife and I came up with ten things we have learned about marriage experientially in five years of marriage.

This is to help encourage and inspire a young marriage like ours out there trying to navigate the tides of their marriage or a single person out there intending to settle down in marriage.y

10 Things We Have Learned About Marriage In Five Years

1. Quality Communication is Key to a Great and Lasting Marriage Relationship.Things We Have Learned About Marriage

There are many spouses out there whose commitment to each other is only because of Duties and Responsibilities but have No Genuine and Organic Relationship/Friendship going on between them.

It is possible to be Married but just Co-existing with your Partner. Communication is the life force of any and everything great Relationship.

2. Sex is Not all that there is to a Great Marriage

There are other Weightier demands of Marriage that Will deflate the Emotions of Sex at an instance.

You can’t Build a Lasting Marriage on temporary Emotions and feelings.

Don’t get me wrong, Sex is a Very Vital part of Marriage But Not the Only.

Sadly, this is the only thing that drives many into Marriage.

3. Your Marriage will only take the Shape of the quality of knowledge and information you know and haveThings We Have Learned About Marriage

Wanting to get more from your marriage beyond the level of knowledge you have will only plunge you into perpetual frustration, so continuous learning is very key and important to having and experiencing a great marriage.

4. Marriage is not for Lazy People. It Requires a lot of Hard Work.

In fact forget about marriage if you are bent on remaining selfish and self centered.

The beauty and color you see in every great marriage is a reflection of the quality of work going into it.

5. Parenting is Intentional, Infact Parenting is Warfare.

It is easier to raise a godly child than to restore and repair a derailed and a broken one.

READ – Apostle Joshua Selman’s Quotes On Rapture, Ministry, Relationships and More

6. A Great Marriage is not Void of Misunderstanding or ChallengesThings We Have Learned About Marriage

However a great marriage is one that with individuals of a reconciling spirit.

Meaning; It’s okay to have a misunderstanding ooo. But we will sha settle.

This is where the level of your maturity and transformation will be revealed & demonstrated.

7. Your Marriage Will Not unfold in Predictable ways

Therefore you must be malleable enough to be able to navigate unfavorable and unexpected paths and seasons in your marriage.

Many are the desires and plans of a man’s heart, But only the Counsel of God shall Stand”

8. Marriage is Full of Surprises

Have a fair and realistic expectation from your spouse so that you are not perpetually disappointed.

The Best of a Man is Still a Man”.

When your spouse steps out of the house, He/She is either a CEO, Business Man/ Woman, Politician, Leader, Pastor etc. And Society has generally being designed to make us put out our best outside.

But many times, when your spouse returns home, they will return with their guards down as “The Man”.

This is where their vulnerabilities and fears become obvious.

You will make a very great spouse if you enhance your ability to manage and accommodate those vulnerabilities, fears, weaknesses, etc.

9. The Devil is Much More Interested in Wrecking and Tearing Marriages Apart Than you can Imagine

Be vigilant, beware of his devices.

If you allow the devil, he will not only raise his ugly head in your marriage, he will also stamp his signature in your home leading to destruction.

The devil is an enemy of godly homes, he’s not friendly at all.

If you allow him, he will repeat patterns and circles of demonic occurrences you never liked with the Marriage of your parents.

This point is for you if you have a history of the following in your family lineage:
– Polygamy
– Separation and Divorce
– Barrenness and unfruitfulness
– Terminal Sicknesses and Diseases
– Abuse, whether Physical, Emotional, or Sexual
– Addictions and irresponsibilities
– Unfaithfulness and infidelity etcs.

10. Marriage is like a duet Dance that takes time to PerfectThings We Have Learned About Marriage

Every great marriage you see today is not only a reflection of what they got or did right, it’s also a reflection of what they got or did wrong.

The journey of marriage is not of perfection but unto perfection.

These are the 10 lessons on Marriage shared by Pst. Isaac Adinoyi and his wife on their 5th wedding anniversary. 

I hope you all got value?

If you did, let me know which of the Points or Lessons Blessed you the Most.Shalom and One Love.

Written by Pastor Isaac Adinoyi and his Wife Amanda Adinoyi

Pastor Isaac Adinoyi is a minister of God, husband and father.

He is the General coordinator of the Koinonia School of Ministry (Abuja and Zaria Campuses). The Koinonia School of Ministry (KSOM) is an arm of the Koinonia Network International, which was founded by Apostle Joshua Selman Nimmak.

Pastor Adinoyi Isaac is a protégé of the esteemed Apostle Joshua Selman and a minister at Koinonia Network International.

Together with his beautiful wife and amazing Sons, he is dedicated to seeing Jesus revealed and glorified through the ministry of the Word and Prayer.

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10 Fun Activities To Do In A Christian Relationship

There are several fun activities that Christian couples can engage in, in their Christian relationship. It doesn’t have to be something against your faith.

People often think that Christian relationships are boring but that is because they are ignorant of what to do to spice things up.

A Christian relationship honors the Lord. And it is a relationship driven by the love of Christ and the principles in the Bible.

But being a Christian does not stop you from having fun in your relationship.

God has designed relationships to be interesting and enjoyable yet godly.

Christian couples

So if you are a Christian couple, and you feel your relationship is getting boring and monotonous by the day, then this article is for you.

But before I move further, I would advise you to dispose of the mindset that makes you feel you don’t need to have fun in your relationship because you think it will compromise your faith.

No, it won’t. When it is done according to the principles in the Bible.

10 Exciting Activities To Do In A Christian Relationship

10. Have Study Time.

Couple Bible study

This is one activity that can help you both to hold a good conversation while you study.

You can schedule a time to study the Bible and other spiritual, transformational, and leadership books.

And you can both share your thoughts on what you have read. This is so exciting and fun because you are both learning and enjoying each other’s company.

9. Engage In Exercise.

Exercise is so important if you want to live healthy and long.

You can use an exercise app at home, register at a gym and play a fitness game. You can also go jogging in the morning or evening with your partner.

It could also be in the form of painting a room, cleaning out the basement, or planting a garden.

Exercise is a fun activity for couples because it helps them spend time together while still maintaining good shape and health.

This is easier for married couples because they live together.

However, dating couples too can engage in this but with boundaries because they don’t live together and should not engage in activities that promote inordinate desires.

8. Pray Together.

Couple praying together

I have heard people say prayer is boring. And I am amazed because prayer is one way of building intimacy.

God is so happy when couples pray together in love.

You can create a time when you both will come together to pray. You can write down your prayer request and pray about it together.

When prayers are answered, it brings so much joy to the couple.

7. Take A Walk.

Taking a walk with your partner may look so simple, but it helps you both draw closer.

In a society that tends to be on the run, taking a walk requires you to slow down and enjoy life together. This is so therapeutic.

Try walking with your spouse in the evening, or before or after dinner, as a way of reflecting on the day, having a wonderful conversation, or reconnecting away from the busyness of life.

6. Play Games.

There are a variety of fun and intelligent games that can help you build a productive and smart mind.

We have Phone games, scrabble, Board games, and Bible games. You can name as many as you can.

If you both are game lovers, then, bravo. You can create time to play games.

5. Go On Dates.

Going on a date with your spouse helps you get to know them better.

Christian couples should go on dates if they need to spice up their relationship.

Whoever told you that Christian couples can’t go on dates has lied to you.

You can go on interesting dates, visit beautiful places, visit the museum, visit a beautiful restaurant to eat, discuss and then enjoy the moment.

Every moment spent with your partner is wonderful and divine.

4. Get Your Partner A Gift.

When it comes to getting gifts in a relationship It is not just about buying something expensive or big.

It is about trying to know what your partner likes and getting it for them. Something they can cherish.

Be creative when you want to present/ give them gifts. You decide to put it somewhere and trick them to check it or you can make it a surprise.

3. Send Romantic Text Messages.

Most people think text messages are so modern. They have gotten it wrong.

Who doesn’t like being reminded about how awesome they are? Definitely, not your partner.

Be intentional about sending your partner romantic text messages.

Just imagine the smile on your partner’s face when they read romantic text messages from you. Priceless, right?

2. Learn New Skills Together.

Learning new skills with your partner is an awesome way of spicing up the relationship.

By doing this you get to watch each other try out something new.

Taking music classes, cooking classes, writing classes, or speaking classes for instance is an excellent way of having fun in a godly relationship.

1. Reverse Roles.

I know this sounds a bit odd but switching roles is a way of having fun because you tend to know the strengths and weaknesses of your spouse.

For example, the guy has the primary role of planning dates and asking the lady out, but it can also be fun when roles are reversed.

As a lady, you can surprise your partner by planning an entire date.

And as a guy, you can decide to prepare the food.

Important questions to ask before dating

In conclusion, sustaining a godly relationship may be challenging, coupled with the fact that there are many immoral and ungodly activities in the society.

Still, it is possible to have a godly relationship and still have fun. All you need to do is to create time to have fun.

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10 Signs He is The One God Has For You.

It is wonderful when you finally meet the perfect guy, the one God has for you. 

After spending years being single, searching and praying for God to bring you your amazing future husband.

Suddenly, you meet this guy who could be the one you have been praying and trusting God for.

But so many ladies get confused at this point.

They began to ask questions. Questions like;

“How do I know if he’s the one God has for me?”

“How do I know if I should marry him?”.

Here comes the point where many people miss it in marriage because of the decision they make.

In this blog post, we will discuss how to know if he’s the one God has for you, including signs he’s the one.

Signs He’s The One God Has For You.

1) A Confirmation From God.

This is one of the most important and number one you should take note of.

What God tells you trumps all other indicators.

And for you to know what God says, you need to have a level of relationship with Him.

If all other signs point to yes, but God tells you that he’s not the one, then he’s not the one. Don’t let your emotions get in the way.

And if God tells you that he’s the one and you see other signs that he’s not ready for a relationship, it may not be the right timing yet.

God is interested in who you marry because God created marriage and he wants you to marry right.

If you are praying to God and asking him to confirm if he’s the one, you can trust God to speak to you and confirm it.

Girl praying

God can speak in many different ways, and it’s important to be in tune with the Holy Spirit at all times.

God can speak to you in a dream, vision, and through his word.

Sometimes through your pastor or your friend by giving them a dream.

So, it is important to understand how the Holy Spirit speaks to you.

You won’t typically see actual, physical signs indicating that this guy is or isn’t the one.

Rather, God will speak to you through the Holy Spirit and His word to let you know if he’s the one.

2) His Love And Passion For God.

The second indicator that he is the one is if he genuinely loves the Lord and has a good relationship with him.

If this guy doesn’t love God or have a relationship with God, he most likely isn’t the one.

God makes it pretty clear in the Bible how important it is to be equally yoked and to only marry someone who loves the Lord.

Loving God should be considered a non-negotiable and not loving God, a deal breaker. So you need to be sure that he loves the Lord.

If he doesn’t love the Lord, then it is a sign that he’s not the one. So it is time to move on.

3) Spiritual compatibility.

Before you met, you might have had a different spiritual upbringing.

You might have grown up in a different denomination or church.

This might have affected how you both think and behave.

So it is important to know if you are both spiritually compatible.

Just because he goes to church with you doesn’t mean you are equally yoked.

And just because he says he is a Christian or that he loves God doesn’t necessarily mean you are on the same page.

What if he was just pretending?

Being spiritually compatible is important to God and He would not want you to marry someone that is not on the same page as you.

If this guy brings you further away from God, then this is another sign that he is not the one.

Your future husband should bring you closer to God, and if a guy pressures you to compromise your faith or values, then he is not the one God has for you.

4) You Have peace About The Relationship.

Having peace is an indicator that you are in line with God’s will for your life.

Peace is one way that God speaks to us.

Colossians 3:15 says:
” And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts, for as members of one body you are called to live in peace”.

If you both have a strong peace or reassurance that you are supposed to be together, this could be the Holy Spirit confirming that he is the one God has for you.

But if he seems like a great guy but you sometimes lose your peace around him, it is a sign, to pray and press into what God is trying to tell you.

After you have prayed, and you still don’t have peace about the relationship, this could be a sign that he is not the one or it’s the wrong timing to pursue a relationship.

5) He Loves You As Christ Loves You

In John 1, the Bible tells us that God showed us who love is by sending his only son to die for our sins.

The Bible also tells us to lay down our lives for each other, and specifically address that husbands should love their wives by laying down their lives ( making sacrifice) for her.

So the proof that he loves you, is if he is willing to sacrifice or lay down his life for you.

If he says he loves you but doesn’t put his love into action, then he may not be the one God has for you.

If a guy doesn’t love you as Christ loves you, it may not be love at all.

But if he does love you as Christ loves you, this is a sign that he could be the one.

6) He Lives Out God’s Word In His Life.

Words are futile without actions.

So even though a man speaks the words of God, if he doesn’t practice them you can conclude that he’s only pretending and not the guy sent to you by God.

You want someone who will be faithful and loyal to you, if he is not faithful to God, it’s best not to be together.

7) You Love and enjoy spending time together.

There may be some qualities or values that you love about him, for example, his passion for God and his word, his humility, and kindness, but do you enjoy spending time together?

Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away by their qualities and characteristics, but being able to enjoy the time you spend together is also important.

You don’t necessarily have to have all the same interests and hobbies.

But being able to find something that you enjoy doing together will be an important sign that he is the one.

8) He honors and respects you.

Honor and respect is the desire of every human.

And it is important that he honors, adores, and respects you.

If he doesn’t respect you as a woman and a person, it is a sign that he is not the one for you.

9) Your Individual God-given Assignments Align.

God has given everyone unique gifts, talents, and a purpose in this world, and God has a unique plan and purpose for your marriage.

You and your future husband’s gifts and purpose should complement each other in some form or fashion.

You have to always be on the same team.

You’re on the same team with your jobs, with the housework, with serving at the church, with the kids, and with everything you do.

It is important to identify your values, strength, and weaknesses to see how you can help each other to fulfill the plans and purpose God has for both of you.

10) He Is An Answer To Your Prayers.

Sometimes you know he’s the one God has for you when this man is an answered prayer.

Maybe you’ve been praying for your future husband to have certain qualities and characteristics and this guy has all these qualities that you’ve been praying for.

Or maybe you have been praying over a certain guy that you like for quite some time, and he is finally showing interest in you. This can be the answer to your prayers.

In conclusion, God desires that you marry right.

So it is important to take note of the signs above before you make your marital decision.

My secondary school crush -a short story