“True friends are like diamonds—bright, beautiful, valuable and always in style.”
How do you identify your friends, what are the benefits and how do you maintain them?
Learn these and more on this amazing interview with Grace Onu.
Dupe : Welcome to Dupe’s Blog ma.
Thank you so much for having me, it’s an honour 😊
Dupe: Can we meet you?
My name is Grace Egbi Onu, I’m currently an Msc student with the Department of Crop protection ABU but I also work part time with an Agricultural research firm that works with rural farmers across Northern Nigeria. I’m from Benue state.
Dupe: Do you love being a black girl?
I absolutely love being a black girl, there is just something unique about it.
Dupe: Can you mention one aspect of the black girl you love?
Our resilience, our ability to get back on our feet, no matter what life throws at us. This is one quality that stands out the most for me.
Dupe: Would you describe yourself as someone who has friends?
Yes I would, I love people, I always enjoy getting to meet new people.
Dupe: Do you think the black girl needs friends?
Absolutely, friends make things easier. As social beings, we thrive on relationships.
Even God desires a relationship with us, how much more we who where created in His image. We were created for relationships and friendship is one of those.
Dupe: What are the benefits of friendships?
There are lots and lots of benefits that one derives from genuine friendships.
- There is the support system that friendship gives, you have a shoulder(s) to cry on when the days are tough and also someone to rejoice with you when things are going well.
- Also friends challenge you to be a better person.
- Companionship is another benefit.
There are so many benefits of friendship
Especially when the friendship is a genuine one, where you both have the best interest of each other at heart.
Dupe: How does one win friends? How did you win yours?
Well the Bible speaking in the book of Proverbs 18:24a (KJV) says “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly”.
To win friends, you must first be a friend. I don’t think friendship is about yourself, it’s all about the other person, you have to care about people and be really concerned about them.
When people know they can trust you and you care about them, their hearts are automatically opened to you.
As my spiritual father and Mentor Apostle Joshua Selman says “the highest psychological need of man is to feel loved,valued and appreciated”
This is truly the crux of friendship.
Dupe: How does one maintain friendships?
To maintain friendship you have to be aware first of how friendships functions.
My Spiritual father taught on this in a message titled “Understanding people, maintaining relationships” but I’ll just try and say a little
We have friends who are just “everyday acquaintances” these are people we see everyday, say “hi” to them and it ends there.
Then we have the “special interest friends“, these ones are people who are probably in the same unit with you in church, or you work in the same fellowship or have similar hobbies.
And then the “intimate confidant”
Friendship with the intimate confidant is one that requires you to intentionally maintain it.
This requires time, trust and commitment.
Dupe: How does one identify an “intimate confidant” and separate that relationship from others?
The intimate confidant is that friend the Bible says “sticketh closer than a brother” you can have the highest level of intimacy with these ones and share your deepest thoughts and concerns.
Like I said, this type of friendship requires time, commitment and trust. It’s not something that is built over a short while.
I’m personally of the opinion that God just connects you to these ones. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t have to work to maintain this kind of friendship it just means your hearts are naturally inclined to them.
Some friendships are also for seasons, God brings them into your life for a season and a reason.. It’s important to know so we don’t overstretch it.
Dupe: How do you handle conflicts with your friends?
Your friends will hurt you, so be prepared for it. When this happens, express your feelings honestly and without resentment and then forgive them. Also be humble enough to ask for forgiveness when you know you have hurt their feelings. A proud person CANNOT keep friends. So when conflict happens, just forgive.
Dupe: Finally, can you highlight 3 major things close friends have helped you with?
- My relationship with God: they have challenged me to seek and know God better.
- They rallied around me when I had a life challenging experiences.
- They also helped me be a better person and also let me understand the value of having good people around you.
Dupe: Thank you so much for your time. We hope to have you again.
Thank you also for having me, I had so much fun and I’m looking forward to it. God bless you.
What lessons have you learnt about friends? Leave comments and let’s discuss.
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