Girl Hate is tearing down fellow women for reasons related to insecurity, competitiveness and jealousy. Girl Hate is internalized misogyny and acrimony. Girl Hate is, “Oh my God, do you see what she’s wearing?” or “Does she honestly think she looks good like that?” Girl Hate happens everywhere and all the time.
– Madison Mignola
As a girl, you must have experienced hatred from another girl at one time or the other. You must have been a victim of Girl Hate, where a lady or a group of ladies just choose to dislike and detest you. They may have been jealous or felt like they were in a competition with you.
You’re not alone.
I’m writing from the stand point of someone who has been and still is a victim of Girl Hate. It has become a norm for ladies in institutions, classes, workplaces, churches and the society and large to feel like they’re in a competition with other ladies which makes it difficult for them to uplift or learn from them.
The sad reality is that girl-on-girl hate is such a big issue in schools, at work, or online, and it never made any sense to me because, as women, we know how awesome other women can be. Lilly Singh
Our Black Girl Magic, Niimah Inuwa speaks with us on girl on girl hate and her experiences.
Welcome to Dupe’s blog ma’am. It’s so great to have you here.
Can we meet you?
My Full name is Inuwa Niimah. I’m a 400 level Architecture student, 21yrs old, a die hard anime otaku, hiker, and a badminton lover.
Do you love being a black girl?
Niimah: Of course! Saves money on sunscreen. *laughs*
I think (and I say this with the least amount of racial stereotype) I like the sauciness. Black people have attttiiituuude…
The pride, “Extraness” for no reason. Quite fun.
Have you ever experienced girl on girl hate?
Sweetie I’ve lost count.
Can you share an experience or two?
Oh wow uhm let’s see…
Excluding the general eye rolls in public places.
There was this one time back in my 200level, a girl came up to me complimenting my makeup and asking about what products I was using and stuff.
I of course was flattered and gave her the info she needed. But den I felt these eye beams of negative energy flying straight at me so I looked behind this nice lady and her friend was giving me cold stares, so I look up and I’m like “Hello?”
This friend then goes “Hi” And I’m like “Any problem?”
And she goes, “I’ve seen you before and you always seem to be made up all the time”
I’m like “Yes, why?” She then replies how she was just wondering if it wasn’t too much seeing as she wears only mascara and gloss daily.
My mind took a double take at that point.
I’m ashamed to say I lost my temper.
But this was just one of the many occasions I’d received random “Don’t you think that looks too much?” or “I prefer” or “Caked up girls have attitude“
Basically that day a random stranger just looked me straight in d face and told me she had a problem with my face.
I have literally had a girl tell me she believes girls that dress a certain way are conceited.
It’s ridiculous how much shade women throw at each other for no apparent reason.
It’s quite disappointing that girls hate on fellow girls so much. There seem to be an unspoken default competitive character in ladies that make them tear other ladies down. What’s your take on girl on girl hate? What do you think is responsible for it?
Low self esteem definitely.
‘Cause I have noticed when girls spit hate grimes they do it to make themselves feel better and it’s sad. Very sad.
Confident women don’t step on others.
You mentioned Low self-esteem as one of the reasons girls hate. Does this imply that it’s not entirely their fault?
Logically, you may want to think so
But I like to hold everyone accountable for their lives.
Yes, they may have gone through stuff beyond their control but when you wake up in the morning, young woman look in the mirror, you have a choice.
And most of us make the wrong choice everyday.
What are the choices we have?
“To err is human, to forgive is divine”
Be a better person.
Be NICE, be positive.
Most women feel like everyday is war and that very woman is the opposition to beat not an ally.
And I think this is the central backbone of the brainwashing society that has put in this place for centuries.
Men aren’t perfect but the man to man relationship is way better than what we have as women.
Why do you think this problem is peculiar to women?
*laughs* Now here’s the twist.
I blame the men actually.
Of course women play a part but a smaller one.
Throughout history, we were dominated, enslaved, shut down by most civilizations in the ancient world and literally brought up to please the man.
It’s the 21st century yet women still haven’t gotten over it.
Domestic violence, sexism, misogyny and all forms of discrimination.
How can the black girl get rid of the unhealthy mindset of jealousy, competition and hate on other girls?
Now this is like trying to get a kid to stop chewing his nails.
You can advice all you want but until they reach that point where they mentally go beyond it, there isn’t much we can do.
Of course words of encouragement, spreading girl on girl love (no homo) *laughs*.
These would be of great help.
Girls that are victims of the hate could get depressed and sad. What would you advice a lady that gets hateful remarks from a fellow girl?
Brush it off honey.
Always remember that the person bullying you is coming from a lower point in her spiritual energy.
Do what makes you happy.
Exercise, hydrate eat well, love well and live long enough to prove people wrong.
Thank you so much for your time Niimah, it was such a great time with you. I hope to have you here again.
You’re very welcome the pleasure is all mine. I’m glad I could help.
Spread Love. Incredible things happen when women support other women.