In the spirit of valentines and Cupid terrorizing people upandan, I decided to take a break from our maximize series to have a chitchat with you guys.
Recently I learned that ladies lamenting about not getting relationship proposals from men/boys in their local church is actually a thing. I was unpleasantly surprised.
While I may understand their reasons, I think they’re being narrow minded.
Dating a man from your local church has lots of advantages; the proximity, same mindset and belief and so on but it is very myopic to make his church membership your primary reason for dating him.
You’re worried because brothers in the church are not approaching you for a relationship. Your worry is so great that it blinds from seeing any other guy that is not from your church.
So, he may be a responsible and right thinking Christian but if you didn’t meet him in your church, it’s no for you. Wow sis.
This is my thought on this;
The fact that a man belongs to your church does not mean he’s the one for you.
Remember the church is like a hospital and you may not know what chronic “illness” a person has.
And so we have so many church boys who are not even transformed.
Church boys who have very bad attitude.
Church boys who are rude and disrespectful.
Church boys who know nothing about personal development. All they do is “kabash” from morning to night.
Church boys who have no plan for their future. Their constant anthem is “I’m waiting for the voice of God”.
Church boys who are irresponsible.
Church boys who do not believe women should be valued.
Church boys who believe the woman’s place is in the kitchen and she must call him “Lord”, like Sarah did Abraham.
Church boys who are in the church but haven’t dealt with lust and greed so they date you but still have eyes for sister Tosin.
Church boys who are not even like Christ.
And usually, you don’t see these toxic traits because they’re not written on his head. You end up getting into the relationship and along the way, you begin to see how blind you were.
What exactly am I saying?
That it is wrong to go into a relationship with someone from your local church? Absolutely not.
I am saying that your local church is not the only place you can meet your future partner.
There are other options like work, school, meetings and so on.
Of course, there are important parameters to look out for, like his values, beliefs, his pastor, his mentors etc.
But restricting yourself to the four walls of your church is not very wise.
Don’t date a church boy. Date a sensible, spiritual, right thinking, responsible and transformed man.