“I don’t know why you still put up with this man Fade, isn’t it obvious he isn’t going to change?”
I kept cutting the vegetables, pretending not to have heard my sister hit me hard with the truth.
“I mean who would have thought Femi would become such a beast with no human feelings whatsoever” She continued.
“Don’t call my husband that ever again!” I replied firmly, defending my husband as usual as I fought back hot tears that threatened to run down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry about that Sis, you know I’d never disrespect you, it’s just that I know how much pain you go through even though you hide it from everyone. And every time, it just makes me want to kill your husband. Why does he have to make you go through so much pain?” Funke said, as she cleaned the last dish and kept it in the rack.
“Thank you for helping me with those dishes Funke, I’ll make the vegetables now so you can eat before you leave” I said, walking to the sink to rinse the vegetables.
My sister kept quiet. She was tired of me, I knew. I kept making her and everyone trying to help me look like they were disturbing me. She was trying to help me but I kept defending my bad husband, Femi.
The thought of what he could be doing right now, sent daggers through my heart.
Lord, make him stop please
My name is Fadekemi Williams and I’m a Lawyer and an author. I am married to Oluwafemi Williams, an accountant and the love of my life.
Femi wasn’t always a cheat. He had always been loving and faithful since our university days when we met. We did everything together then, read, attended fellowship, prayed and so on.
He was never a womanizer, He loved God and was committed to making me happy. Femi would never do anything to hurt me. It continued that way until 3 months after our fairytale wedding when things suddenly changed.
Three months after our wedding, my husband cheated on me with his secretary.
I knew because I saw lipstick on his shirt that night after work.
I knew because he couldn’t look me in the eye.
I knew because the Holy Spirit told me and the Holy Spirit has never lied to me.
My husband had no explanation for his misbehaviour, yet I didn’t shout or insult him. Little did I know that, that was the beginning of my misery.
Femi became a perpetual cheat. He slept with different women and the fact that he cheated didn’t hurt me like the fact that ever day he did, I knew.
|I cried every night. I tried to talk to my husband but he didn’t have any reasonable explanation.|
Each time I spoke to him, he apologised and promised never to do it again. But he only stopped for few days after which he went out with a new woman.
I prayed. I told God to change him but it seemed like God had turned His back on me. I soon stopped praying for Femi to change, I would just go into my room and cry to God. I did that every night, crying my eyes out after pretending all day to everyone at work.
I was usually alone because my husband had a reason to come back late every day.
One day, I got tired of crying silently to God and shouted; “Since You have refused to change my husband or at least say something to me, then I think it’s time to do something by myself. FYI, I’m leaving Femi! Yes, You heard me. I am getting a divorce”.
I was shouting at the top of my voice in the empty house. If God couldn’t hear my stifled cries and whispered prayers, then perhaps He would hear my shout. And He did, because He replied.
Love Femi, just as I have loved you
Love him, just as I have loved you
I couldn’t believe my ears. The first time God was saying anything about my cheating husband and all He could say was “Love him”?
He didn’t even offer to change Femi or at least approve of my request to report him to our pastor.
“Fade!” My sister screamed, rudely bringing out of my chain of thoughts.
“I’m so sorry Funke, I got lost in thought”
“Clearly” Funke said, with an irritated look on her face.
That night, as I sat down in my well-furnished sitting room, waiting for my husband to come back home, my mind ran back to everything my sister said before she left my house. She had asked me to divorce my husband or at least report him to our pastor if I didn’t want a divorce.
If only she knew how much I wanted to speak with someone spiritually matured, about my husband’s infidelity. But the Holy Spirit would not let me. At least, not yet.
It hurt. It hurt very bad but I had grown to trust and obey God even when I didn’t understand.
The doorbell rang.
I stood up to open the door for my husband.
“Welcome” I said flatly, giving him a peck and collecting his brief case. I was beginning to look like a big fool, playing the whole Proverbs 31-woman role to a man who didn’t deserve it one bit. But what could I do? That was the instruction God gave me and I couldn’t disobey him. if I perish, I perish.
“Thank you, Fade” It had gotten that bad, my husband now called me by my name.
After he had dinner, my husband came to the bedroom and held my hands “Fade, I’m sorry. I’ll change, don’t stop praying for me”
He left my hands and hugged me tightly. I could smell a woman’s cologne on him and once again, I knew my husband had cheated.
Lord why? This isn’t my husband, my Femi. The man I vowed to love for the rest of my life. The man I have been so crazily in love with since my first year in the university.
Tears splashed on my cheeks as I let him hug me and whisper lies into my ears.
He had fallen asleep.
I gently removed his arms that were wrapped around me, stepped out of bed and tiptoed to the guest room.
At the guest room, I picked up the Bible that was on the table. We kept it there permanently for any guest that would visit us. We wanted everyone under our roof to be carried along in our spiritual lives.
Yes. My husband and I were that conscious of God. Everyone loved us, they thought we were the perfect couple.
Only few people knew about my husband’s infidelity; my sister and my best friend and they only knew because they had seen him with strange women by themselves so I couldn’t lie to them.
Every Sunday, we went to church and acted like everything was fine. I smiled bitterly, flipping through the Bible.
My phone buzzed.
I picked it up without looking at it to know who was calling.
“Fade darling”I immediately snapped to full consciousness. It was “Mummy D”, the closest mentor to my husband and I.
“Mummy D” I said, smiling. I didn’t realize how much I had missed her.
“How are you my darling?”
“I’m fine mummy”
“No, you’re not. Talk to me. How is your husband?”
“I’m fine mummy. Femi and I are doing well”
What? Why was God be treating me this way? I thought we agreed that I shouldn’t tell anyone, why should He all of a sudden just ask me to tell mummy D?
“Fade, I was already sleeping. I had a bad dream about you and your husband and the Holy Spirit asked me to call you”
I burst into tears and poured it all out to my beloved mentor.
The next day, I left my office around 12:00 noon, I intended taking lunch to my husband’s office. I drove through the estate, looking for a nice restaurant where I could get decent food.
It was hard because my husband and I rarely ate out. I was only buying food because I couldn’t go home to cook because of time.
I finally found a place that looked good. I stopped and got my husband’s favorite. I had to make use of their disposables because I hadn’t taken a food flask from home.
I didn’t know I’d take lunch to him at the office. I rarely did that. I was going to surprise him today.
As I stepped into the reception before my husband’s personal office upstairs, I saw the shock on his new secretary’s face.
“Good morn… afternoon ma” she stammered.
“Thank you. Is my husband in?” I said, wondering why the girl was fidgeting.
“No. Yes. No. He’s around ma”
“Alright, I’ll go in, thank you”I climbed the stairs leading to my husband’s office.
When I got to his door, I didn’t knock, I opened the door and walked in.
And immediately, I wished hadn’t …
Next episode on Friday.