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Black Girl Magic || Interview with Adesewa Stephanie Oniye

The black woman is art; a perfect expression of pain, struggle, strength and beauty.

– Anonymous

One of the aims of the Black Girl Magic category on this blog is to encourage and strengthen black women. On this month’s episode, Adesewa Stephanie Oniye shares her very personal experiences with us as a child and growing up. From abuse, to heartbreaks, to failure but she’s coming out golden and magical like the black girl magic that she is.

Enjoy the read queens.

Welcome to Dupe’s Blog ma’am. Can we meet you?

Adesewa : Thank you Hun.
My name is Adesewa Stephanie Oniye.


(Black Girl Magic Adesewa)

Like I said, my name is Sewa,

I am the the first daughter of 3 kids, I am 22 years old, born on the 9th day of January.
I am a poet, fashion designer, beadmaker, and a foodie.
My father is a lecturer, so I was brought up in an educational background. I have basically spent all my life in Ahmadu Bello University, except the last 2 years of my secondary school( of which i attended at Zaria Academy Shika, Zaria).
Presently, I am in the Department of Veterinary medicine, A.B.U Zaria, 500L.

What I love about being a Black Girl. –


Strength… We can show a wide range of emotion, but no matter what, we are still strong.
Skin: it doesn’t give us out when we are blushing or shy unlike whites


(Little Sewa)

Well, I grew up with my uncles. My parents weren’t always home. My dad was a workaholic, he came back in the evenings most time, and my mom was into trading, she was travelling most times.
My uncles were bad influences on me, there’s this particular one though. I saw him bringing different ladies into our house and go with them to his room…from that, to watching pornographic movies, irrespective of the fact that myself and my younger brother were present and very underaged. He didn’t care.
But, there was this day, I was sleeping, I had just come back from school, this uncle sent my brother to get something from the neighbours’ house, leaving just myself and him in the house.
He came into the room and started to touch me in places he wasn’t supposed to ( I was 7/8 years old, I didn’t even have boobs, I still wonder what was actually turning him on)… before it degenerated, my brother had already come back so he stopped.
Other times, he would force me to seat on his laps, and he’d have erections and kiss me on my neck and tell me to kiss him back on his.
This happened a couple of times, until one day I refused and ran away. He caught me, flogged me, and locked me up in my room..
But then in my room, another of my uncles was sleeping, I guess my sobs woke him up, so he called me, trying to pet me, told me to come and lay close to him, and before i knew it, he was having an erection and he was pressing on me…
I was going insane in my head… I started crying again, then he stopped.
It was crazy, but, I’d like to end it here.
It affected my mind because sometimes I have flashbacks, but that’s where it ends.

I’m secretive too; I never told my mom about it, and it kinda ‘deepened’ my mind.

I’d like to think my life wasn’t really really messed up because my mom was praying.

This should be an eye opener to parents too actually.
No matter how close the man you are leaving your kids with is to you, a man is a man.
To everyone that’s going through the same thing, you should voice out, you should fight, you shouldn’t be quiet at all.
If it has been done and you have been damaged already, I pray you heal and find yourself again…
I want you to know that you’re going to be okay…


I have had quite a lot?
I’m the kind of person that can’t endure the pain of heartbreaks, so I run into another relationship almost immediately.
I know it’s quite unhealthy, and I am actually working on that, because I found out that I don’t heal.
My first love was Igbo, as at then, he was a true definition of what love was, but we got separated because of my dad, i was quite young *laughs*
The realest relationship I had was my last.
I never knew the kind of man I wanted until he showed up. He was humorous, he knew how to make me laugh, he was the definition of the word ‘caring’ . He was my mumu…
I would have married him but he belonged to someone else, so it didn’t work out.

I have gotten my heart broken a million times, but, I love love so I go into every relationship like it’s my first.


(You were made to do hard things, believe in yourself).

I wanted to be a medical doctor, but I didn’t like the sight of human blood so a few people recommended Veterinary medicine so, vet it was.

I’ve always wanted to be an author too, I believe someday I’ll publish a novel.
I like travelling, so touring the world is part of my bucket list too.

Vet. *laughs*
As you know, it is not beans and plantain.
For me, I had to sacrifice the little ‘fun’ I had to study.
Even at that, I failed some courses in 300Level which resulted to me getting ‘filtered’ going to 400Level.
Let me explain the “Filter” concept.
Every semester, the maximum credit load is 24 credit units. In vet, we have lots of courses to pick, so all the courses we pick equals the 24 credit units already. This is for every semester.
If you happen to fail a course in a semester, there’s no space for you to pick it the next year because you already have a maximum credit unit.
To clear that course, you would have to wait an extra year doing nothing but only that course you failed.
Note that if you fail the course 100 times, you will stay and repeat that course for 100years.
In vet, this is done twice in your 6 years.
When you are in 300L going to 400L , and when you are in 500L going to 600L.

My dad is a lecturer (a professor) and almost every lecturer in vet knows him.
I’m not as smart as my dad and people expecting me to be as intelligent as he is is actually one of the greatest challenge I have had.

If only people knew how better I am now and how less intelligent I was in primary and junior secondary school.
I think being in vet to this present level is a great achievement…
To be honest, some of my former class mates and teachers still look at me in shock when I tell them that I’m in vet school, as if to say, ” is it not this girl that used to get 45th position in school?”.

God is awesome I tell you.

And I like that vet does not give me the liberty to always be at every event, because whenever I decide to attend one, I am given maximum attention *laughs* …
There’s respect and all.
And I get to be a Doctor after school you know.
Even though sometimes I’m always like “what even brought me here? this stress is too much” or “I’m frustrated”
At the end , I’m sure it would totally be worth it.


(Gratitude in spite of challenges)

I’m grateful to God for giving me the kind of heart and mindset I have. I consider myself a strong woman for not breaking despite the things I have gone through.
And my mom, my prayer warrior, I could a been a mess.
I’m grateful for my friends .

(Ziyet,Joy, and Sam) for motivating me through vet school, I probably would have run mad by now (Vet school is crazy like that) *laughs* .
My friends are my ‘fun’. Very humorous and happy people.

Saving the last for the best is my Dad, my first love. For keeping calm and always encouraging me even when he was supposed to send me out of his house *laughs*
I consider myself blessed?


(A word for the wounded Black Girl)

There’s no giving up.
Life would want to hurt you, but don’t fall, don’t break, don’t give it that chance.
Don’t let negative experiences control you or change the person you are destined to be. It is true that negative experiences cause insecurities, doubts, discomfort, and sadness.
But all of this can be overcome and only you have the power to do this.

Dupe : Thank you so much for your transparency and your time ma’am.

Adesewa : Thank you for having me ?

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5 Amazing Marriages I Follow and Lessons I’ve Learned.

Happy Friday guys!

I’d love to tag today #CoupleCrushFriday

If you read my blog then you probably already know that I’m a “family person” but you may not know that I’m a “love person” too.

I love Love.

Everything you want has a model. No matter how “new” your dreams seem, there’s always someone who has done something similar, someone you can look up to and learn from while you input your own peculiarity.

I have couples I really admire and follow faithfully. One of which is my parents; I’ve learnt love, sacrifice, prayer and humility from them so my major couple crush are my parents.

Outside home, I have quite a number of people whose marriages are a representation of what I think marriage should be and I thought it right to share some with you guys.

For each couple, I’ll share at least one lesson their marriage has taught me.

1. Pastor Toure and First Lady, Pastor Sarah Roberts :

Whoever knows me very well would have predicted this before they even saw it. Sarah Jakes Roberts is the daughter of Bishop TD Jakes.

Sarah Jakes is my role model for many reasons, the major reason is that I share A LOT of peculiarities with her. I’ve followed her life for some years now and I greatly admire her so it was only normal for me to fall in love with her marriage with Toure.

There’s a whole lot to say about her and I hope to make a blog post about her, soon. Touré Roberts and his wife Sarah Jakes Roberts are co-pastors of One Church L.A. Touré has been named one of America’s top 100 influencers under 45 by He is the author of Purpose Awakening.

Their first date was a unique and amazing one. Sarah narrated; “He picked me up at my hotel and I remember that from the moment that I saw him when I got off the elevator I felt vulnerable and naked. Not naked like he’s looking at me, but naked like, I don’t think I can hide anything from him. There is something within me that wanted to be the truest version of myself with him. There was something that made me feel safe. Everything from him watching how I came down the stairs to him opening the door for me at the restaurant, it made me feel like for the first time in a very, very long time, I could be a soft, feminine, dainty woman and fall into the arms of a real man that could hold me down.”

Lessons: Toure and Sarah have taught me love in spite of flaws and failings. They also taught me that there’s no one who does not deserve to be loved. From them, I’ve also learnt the power in getting a partner who knows the Word and prays.

Toure’s line for asking Sarah out was “I want to serve you” that’s enough lesson for the guys. Selah.

Finally, I learnt how important it is to honor your partner. Toure always listens with rapt attention when Sarah speaks and Sarah does likewise; no room for familiarity.

2. Capt Tunde Demuren and Tolu (Toolz) Oniru : Captain and his princess tied the knot in 2016 and I’ve always admired what they share.

Lessons: I’ve learnt the power of money (lol). Love is sweeter when you and your husband are rich ? .

I’ve learnt the power of relationships! Captain and Toolz have friends in “high places ” hehe.

They support their friends all the time; at weddings and functions, no wonder they have this wonderful string of connection with almost everybody.

3. Timi and Busola Dakolo : Do I have to talk? I mean, everybody loves them!

Lessons: Don’t choose anything over your partner, not even career. Be proud of who you married. Be yourself with your spouse.

4. Pastor Sam and Pastor Nike Adeyemi :

I honor this couple a lot. Anointing and wisdom.

Lessons: If their vision don’t marry yours, don’t marry them!

5. My future husband and I ???

Image loading…

Lesson: Follow God and the right people and your marriage will be heaven on earth.

Have a great weekend guys!

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Interview with Sandra Areh – “The Fabulous, God-loving Career Woman – Striking A Balance”.

Women are wonderful creatures of God.

A proof of God’s artistry.

Although with a lot of cares like what to wear, what to use and what not, some of us are still kingdom ambassadors and passionately chasing after God – a relentless pursuit. Coupled with that, some women are career women.

How then do we give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God, what is God’s?

How do I balance my school/career work, my relationship and service for God and looking beautiful?

I had this amazing interview with the beautiful Sandra Areh on “The fabulous, God-loving career woman. – Striking a balance.”

You’re sure going to learn a thing or two..

Dupe: Welcome to Dupe’s blog ma. Can we meet you?

Sandra Areh: My name is Sandra Areh.

Dupe: What do you do?

Sandra Areh: I work as a Personal Assistant to a Legislator.

Dupe: On a scale of 1-10, how busy are you with work daily?

Sandra Areh: On the average 7-8

Dupe: Wow that’s on the high side. How long have you been born again?

Sandra Areh: Over 7years.

Dupe: Great. Meaning you were still in school then?

Sandra Areh: Yes, I made the decision in my first week in school after I gained admission, although I was raised in a Christian home and I loved God.

Dupe: Were you involved in kingdom activities whilst in school?

Sandra Areh: Yes I was

Dupe: Was it easy? Having to do that along with school work.

Sandra Areh: I would say my time was planned, I had what you’ll call a triangular lifestyle- Lectures, church and back to my hostel. It wasn’t so demanding because I loved it…

Dupe: Interesting. Can you share some of the challenges and struggles you had? If any.

Sandra Areh: Challenges in what area?

Dupe: Lecture/assignments and church/fellowship meetings. Did your lecture time disrupt your time for God?

Sandra Areh: Not necessarily. Most of my spiritual activities were in the evening/nights and I had lectures from morning-afternoon sometimes evening… There was really no disruption.

Although, at some point I had to withdraw a little from some spiritual groups because my commitment was dropping due to time constraints and I put in my all into a select few.

I had to be extra deliberate on my time management.

Dupe: Okay. 

Now as a working class woman, has anything changed?

Sandra Areh: A PA job is all encompassing and very demanding. I only have a resumption time but I don’t have a closing time.

Dupe: Wow! How do you cope with this?

Sandra Areh: First thing I did was ensure that my employer is fully aware of my commitment to God and His Kingdom. 

Dupe: Hmmm…

Sandra Areh: Also, Godly character goes a long to endorse that proposition. Secondly, my major responsibilities in church are mainly during the weekends and I work only from Monday-Friday except on rare occasions where I’m called upon to do a few things or when I travel because my job also involves traveling.

I also take advantage of church online, this I do very well.

For instance, when I cannot meet up with mid-week services, I follow online or if I’m going to be late still follow up till I get to church.

I take advantage of my night times to pray and listen to messages.. Then I read books especially when I’m free in the office or at home too.

Dupe: “Also, Godly character goes a long to endorse that proposition” … Can you explain what you mean by this ↑?
Sandra Areh: It’s not enough to say you are a Christian, your attitude towards work and people speaks loudly. Diligence, integrity, respect, love, selflessness and more.

For instance, Godly virtues gave me opportunity to request for leave to attend a Bible school and it was granted with all joy… Even during the period I did one or two things for my Boss and He really appreciated it.

Dupe: Wow. That’s amazing. You’re a very busy woman, do you get enough time for yourself?

Sandra Areh: I do some times.

Dupe: Is it necessary for a young woman encumbered with a lot of activities to look good?

Sandra Areh: Absolutely! Planning is the key.

Dupe: Does one have to spend too much time on one’s self to look good?

Sandra Areh: I don’t think so. I think knowing what suits will save you much time and meeting the right people/professionals. For instance, if you go to a good saloon, the professional stylist will know what will fit the shape of your face complexion and do their job.

Dupe: Yes. Knowing what works for you will save you time and energy.

Sandra Areh: Like scripture puts it, “everyone should abide in their calling ” *laughs*.

Dupe: ?

Ladies are engaged in a lot of things; considering this, do you think we can do as much as men do for God?

Sandra Areh: Yes. I believe in the power of prioritizing and delegationYou can not do everything. Do what is most important and delegate the rest to the right people.

Dupe: Beautiful.. What are the things that should be dropped in order to fully concentrate on important things?

Sandra Areh: Well, this differs from person to person… You’d have to define what is important and give it time. God, your relationship(s), career/business etc. 

Dupe: Do you have any role model or woman you look up to?

Sandra Areh: Yes I do. Lots of them oo.

Dupe: Can we know some of them?

Sandra Areh: Just women right??

Dupe: Yes, just women

Sandra Areh: Pst(Mrs) Faith Oyedepo, Dr (Mrs) Becky Eneche, Pst(Mrs) Funke Adejumo, Pst(Mrs) Modele Fatoyinbo, Pst(Mrs) Opi Agha and more…

Dupe: Wow, great women.

Sandra Areh: Yes, they are…

Dupe: Do you have any word of advice for ladies in pursuit of God and purpose?

Sandra Areh: God is the Ultimate, hold unto Him tighter than any other thing. God first and He’ll compel other things to follow.

Dupe: Wow! Thank you so much for your time ma.

We hope to see more of you.

Sandra Areh: ? My pleasure darling. God Bless you!

Dupe: Bless you too ma

Connect with Miss Sandra Areh on

And leave your thoughts and comments below ?.