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Should a Christian Have a Crush?

I shared a story about my secondary school crush some days back which got a lot of engagements and shares.

After that story, I got a number of personal messages. Most were from people who were blessed by the story but one was a question asking if Christians should have crushes which I answered and am about to share with you all.

This was the question

“I have a question about your post on your crush.What was the feeling like? Don’t you think it was lustful? Or what will you call crushing on someone in this Kingdom? Or do we call it obsession or lust of the eyes? I have had a similar experience but then you know we should know where the crushing flows from, if it is godly or ungodly or natural?”

That was the question and I’m about to share the answer I gave him and expatiate more. Stay with me and please read to the end to fully understand.

I am of the habit of addressing topics that are usually shied away from by religion or the average church. I always approach those topics as the Holy Spirit helps me, largely because I don’t think they’re talked about enough from Biblical and Godly perspectives in our world today and believers, especially young ones need to have these discussions.

So, I was glad to respond to the question above.

This was my answer to him.

“At that point (in my junior secondary school), I didn’t have a very personal relationship with God so this wasn’t even in question.
But in retrospect, I don’t think it was lust. It was more of childish obsession for someone I really admired.

You’re asking about lust because it was a guy. It could have been a lady.

There were ladies I was obsessed with when I was young too. Probably because I admired their talents, gifts, flawlessness at something and so on. There are female secular artists who I literally adored and held in very high esteem.

Lust or not, obsession of any kind is not of God. It is idolatry. God is the only obsession we’re permitted to have.

The secondary school incident happened because of my childishness and lack of knowledge.

Now of course, I have put childish ways behind me and whatever attempts to take priority in my heart, I immediately bring to the submission of Christ.

Please note that having a crush is not necessarily sinful or evil. As a Christian,you’re still human and you will definitely admire and be attracted to people of the opposite sex.
God himself looked at his creation and saw that it was good in 5 different places in the Bible. (Genesis 1:10 Genesis 1:12 Genesis 1:18 Genesis 1:21 Genesis 1:25)

It only becomes a sin when it is excessive and becomes obsession or takes the place of God in your heart. (Exodus 20:3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.)

Or when you begin to have sexual and lustful thoughts towards the person.

II Timothy 2:22 — “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”
1 Corinthians 6:8  “Flee from sexual immorality.”

In summary, it is okay to admire people who you’re attracted to because of their physical features. It is only human.

But remember that the Bible advices us to guard our hearts. Hence, you must be careful not to nurse the “admiration” so much that it becomes an obsession and even leads to lust..

The moment you notice that a person is occupying your heart too much, pray and ask God to take His place as King in your heart and take away every lustful or idolizing thought.

2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Also make conscious efforts not to be around that person unnecessarily.

Crushes (the feeling) die with time because they’re not based on anything solid. In my case, I stopped crushing when the person in question graduated from my school and left. Out of sight was out of mind.

Practical ways to curb a crush are: Praying, Mediating on God’s Word, speaking with a mentor or pastor who understands and Being intentional about staying away from that person for some time.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 NIV