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Kissing in a Christian Relationship

This post isn’t in any way aimed at judging anyone. Everything you’re about to read was inspired by God’s Spirit and coined from the Bible, research and my personal musings.

This is going to be a fairly lengthy post with a lot of scriptures because the Bible is our reference.

You may not agree with everything you’ll read here due to your mindset, denomination or perspective but it’d be great if you opened up your heart and be flexible enough to let the Holy Spirit minister to you through this post.

The issue of kissing in a Christian relationship is a very touchy and sensitive one but in today’s post, I won’t handle it as such.

So if you’re in a Christian relationship and you and your partner want to honor God as you head towards marriage, you need to read this.

If to you, this shouldn’t even be a topic of discussion because you think it’s perfectly normal to kiss or even have sex in a Christian relationship then I advice you to patiently read on also, you just might learn a thing or two.

If you’re vehemently against posts like this or you’re defensive because you’re already engaged in this act, then I encourage you to read as well because the sin you’re most defensive about is usually the most deadly to your walk with God.

This topic is a volatile one that may want to spread and lead to other things like sex, marriage and so on, but I will try to stay within the boundaries of what we’re talking about today.

I’ve had contemplations about this issue for years now, but God has helped me and brought an end to the tug of war in my mind as and I’ve been able to prayerfully articulate my thoughts, (though not in a very organized form) into this blog post.

I hope you’re blessed, edified and positively transformed as that is the aim of this post.
May the Holy Spirit minister to you as you read.

Titus 1:15 Christian Standard Bible
To the pure, everything is pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; in fact, both their mind and conscience are defiled.

The above scripture, although powerful and well meaning, has been used by many Christian to justify unholy and impure acts.

What is a kiss?

A kiss is the touch or pressing of one’s lips against another person or an object. Cultural connotations of kissing vary widely. Depending on the culture and context, a kiss can express sentiments of love, passion, romance, sexual attraction, sexual activity, sexual arousal, affection, respect, greeting, friendship, peace, and good luck, among many others – Wikipedia

The fact that kisses are a form of greeting should silence the religious shouts of protests that arise in your head every time you hear the word “kiss”.

Also, the word “kiss” is used 46 times in the Bible, in good context, so it can’t be a bad thing.

We have several forms of kisses and they serve different purposes;

  • Kisses can be used to show allegiance e.g when Samuel kissed Saul in 1 Sam 10:1.

1 Samuel 10:1 Then Samuel took a vial of oil, and poured it upon his head, and kissed him, and said, Is it not because the LORD hath anointed thee to be captain over his inheritance?

  • Kisses can be used to show friendship or love for family e.g Esau’s kiss to Jacob in Gen 33:4.

Genesis 33:4 And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept.

Please take note that Jacob’s kiss to Rachel in Gen 29:1 was one of affection and love for family as Rachel was his cousin.
  • Finally, we have the amorous kiss (also known as the “French kiss”) which we see in Songs of Solomon 1:2.

Song of Solomon 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.

This is the kiss we’re talking about.

Read: Keys and scriptures for Christian relationships

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with showing appreciation and love through harmless kisses on the forehead or cheek, depending on your cultural environment and personal dealings with the Holy Spirit.
But you must know where to draw the lines between a kiss of love and appreciation and that of Lust.

The Amorous or French Kiss


Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

The “Amorous” Or “French kiss” is one that is directly linked to sexual activities.
It involves passion and arousal and more often than not, results in raging hormones which may eventually lead to fornication.

We must remember that our God is one that searches the heart and not just our actions. The posture of our hearts mean more to God than what we do, so if you have mastered a level of discipline to ensure that your physical touch with your partner does not lead to sex, but you do every other thing, (kissing, hugging, and even cuddling), with a lustful heart, you have fornicated already.

As simple as a hug seems, it can be sinful.

These are bitter pills, I know, but swallow them.

Unfortunately, many “virgins” in today’s world have fornicated many times without the actual physical penetration. This is one of the reasons, I believe why the World Sexual Purity Day (November 14th) isn’t about virgins but for everyone who has chosen to stay sexually pure for God because the moment you make the decision to become sexually pure and honor God with your body, He cleans your past and you start on a new note.

What’s the point of being in a Christian relationship and claiming to abstain from sex until marriage if you still have “unholy kiss”. You have all forms of unnecessary intimacy with your partner (apart from sex) but in your mind, you tell yourself “I know what I would have done to that sister/brother if not because we’re abstaining from sex for God”.

Brethren, who do we deceive? Remember, God can not be mocked.

Matthew 5:28– But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart

No matter how attached and connected you are, to your partner, if you have not been joined in marriage, God does NOT see you as one.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

These scriptures clearly state that God permits and honors the joining of a man and a woman ONLY when they have become one in marriage.

Of course they will definitely be times when our flesh will do what it does best, try to rule. Don’t feel bad about it, it’s normal.

Unfortunately, religion makes us feel filthy and unholy whenever we feel sexual urges but this is wrong because our sexuality should be celebrated and not despised. God created us that way and it’s for a purpose.

I’ve read of many cases of couples who got married and had issues with their sexual lives because of the prolonged mentality that sex is impure and unholy.

They got to a point where they couldn’t bring themselves to accept sex as God’s design and this could spell doom for a marriage. I chose to point this out so that we can balance this topic.

Read: Is Honeymoon compulsory?

Should we Kiss in our Christian relationship?

Our intimacy with God through worship is synonymous to a kiss. We are the bride of Christ, not His “girlfriend or fiancee” (lol), so there’s no form of intimacy that is not allowed between God and us because we are MARRIED to Him.

Having a deep form of physical intimacy with someone you haven’t been joined in marriage to, is SIN and the Bible tells us to FLEE.

A french kiss between two unmarried is very risky and absolutely unnecessary. Why start something you can not finish?

Romans 8:8– So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

If you’re here with the question “is it a sin if we kiss?”, then you’re looking for the wrong information.

1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

Apostle Paul recognizes that some things may not be sins in themselves but they are not necessary. Doing it only shows how much power it has over you.

The question isn’t if it is a sin, the question is if it’s profitable to your walk with God.

Is it expedient? Are you being brought under its subjection?

Imagine if things don’t work out eventually in that relationship and you marry someone else, you would have just been kissing someone else’s husband or wife☺.

In view of these, I encourage Christians who have contemplations concerning kissing in their relationship, to have an understanding that it’s not so much about the kiss as it is about the posture of your heart and your intentions.

Without deceiving ourselves, we all know when the lines have been crossed and an initial harmless hug, cuddle, holding of hands or kiss is no longer sincere and out of a pure heart. You must consciously ensure, you don’t cross the line into lust.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8)

Let me know what you think in the comment section.

Read also : Why you should pray with scriptures

Can you handle his assignment?

15 Lessons from the Proverbial Girl Devotional

Pictures source: Pinterest

106 thoughts on “Kissing in a Christian Relationship

  1. God bless you dear. This is beautiful. Well done

    1. Thank you so much Egbon. Amen!

      1. This is the most explicable article i have ever read concerning this subject matter.

        1. Thank you Mathias

      2. Well I learnt a lot

    2. Wow thanks so much. I was so blessed going through this

      1. I’m glad. Bless you

    3. Thanks for the divine explanations

    4. Thank you very much I’m a 19 year old boy and this has very much enlightened my modest when it comes to dating.i will very much emulate and respect al that was sand apply to my life.

  2. Sarah!! You are just brilliant!!!
    God would bless you so much, ma.

    1. Thank you for your constant support Dumebi

    2. amenooooo…. I was blessed too

      1. God bless ma
        And more inspiration from the Holyghost

        1. Amen! Thank you

  3. Well done my friend, I celebrate you greatly.may God continue to uplift you.

    1. Thank you darling.

  4. Woaw such a powerful Truth
    Thank You Sarah for sharing

    1. Glory to God!
      Thank you sir

  5. I really blessed

    1. Glory to God! ?

    2. Wow…. This is really inspiring ma
      Thanks for sharing, I was really blessed!

  6. Thanks for the exposition.This blog shall go global ijn. Kip d work on

    1. Amen! Thank you so much J1

  7. This is good !

  8. Well Balanced!!!

    1. Thank you Sir Kwest

  9. Truly enlightening! This subject has been on my mind for a long time now, and I’m grateful for this post! Thank you so much ma’am, God bless you!

    1. Wow! Glory to God! I’m glad you learnt.

    1. Thank you ?

  10. Proud of the woman you’ve become?

    1. I love you

  11. Brilliant!
    Thank you for sharing 🙂

    1. Thanks for reading!

  12. Way to go Dupe!

    1. Thank you Pastor Rampy ??

  13. This is beautifully executed with utmost precision. Exactly what I found. I have confirmation about this too. God bless you for stepping out for this. You just win me over to your blog completely with this post
    And I’ll bring my friends over here

    1. Awwwn! All glory to Jesus. Thank you Edward. I hope to see more of you.

  14. Well done Dupe!This is truly enlightening…More oil.

    1. Amen. Thanks love

  15. Thanks Dupe…so many bitter truths to swallow

    1. Glory to God ?. Yes! I had a hard time swallowing too.

  16. More grace dear

  17. Happy birthday to you Mo.

    1. Thank you ??

  18. It was helpful ma. More grace I pray.

    1. Amen. I’m glad.

  19. This is amazing! And absolutely right

    1. Thank you darling.

  20. Absolutely Correct And Inspiring. God Bless You

    1. Amen. God bless you

      1. Wow am really blessed by this article. a similar issue is the reason I got help thank u so much and God bless you
        Looking forward to read more Inspiring and blessed articles as thus

  21. God bless you for this write-up. God will increase you in all wisdom.

    1. Amen. Thank you

  22. Thank you for this truth. It answers the very question in the hearts of most young ones. I trust God to do it right in my marital relationship and to help others do same too.

    1. Amen! I’m glad. Thanks for reading

    2. Thanks for speaking the truth so plainly ma, God bless you for such great wisdom

  23. Wow. So touched and blessed. It’s actually not necessary to kiss if your relationship is considered ‘christian’ Amen sister! Go girl!! ❤️

    1. God bless you sis

  24. I feel so disgusted with myself. This is my first time in a relationship, before entering this relationship I promised myself not to kiss my partner or allow him to touch me, but I have ended doing these things. I feel so distant from God. I blame myself every time. What can I do?

    1. Hello Fola. Please don’t feel bad. God loves you very much and He’s proud that you made a commitment to honor Him with your body.

      Even if you broke it, it can still be restored. You need the Holy Spirit and a lot of discipline.

      Speak with your partner and let him know of your commitment to God.
      If he’s ready to comply, both of you should pray together and take practical measures to avoid a repetition. Avoid staying in private places alone. Set specific boundaries and help each other keep them.

      Please remember that no relationship is worth compromising your commitment to and relationship with God. Your partner should help you in this journey.
      If he’s is not ready to abstain, please prayerfully reconsider the relationship.

      You can send me a mail if you still need to talk.
      I love you very much and God loves you more.
      Bless you sis.

  25. The moment I read that Titus scripture, I had an epiphany. And then 1 Corinthians 6:12 came to mind almost immediately. God has used this post to clear my mind and set me free today. God bless you sis.

    1. Hallelujah! Glory to Jesus. I’m glad.
      Bless you

  26. God richly bless you

    1. Amen. Bless you too

  27. […] Have you read these? : Kissing in a Christian Relationship […]

  28. Thanks for throwing light on this matter ?

    1. He sure did

  29. Wow! Thankyou for this. You put into words what we all feel but cant define about this situation.God bless you!

    1. Amen. I’m glad it blessed you.

  30. I don’t know how I missed this but its awesome…
    It’s something I had to deal with recently.. Some people just use scriptures (like Rom 16:16) to justify the lascivious act; I wonder what their definition of “Holy” is..
    God bless you

    1. So true. Thank you for reading Elijah

  31. Thank you ma ,am eternally grateful for this i sincerely needed clarity on this matter,i celebrate you ma

    1. I celebrate you dear
      Thank God

  32. God bless you, this took a weight off me.

  33. This truly is TRUTH. Jesus bless you with more wisdom.

  34. Thank you very much MA.
    It forms part of what I’ll be looking forward to in marriage, in this case, scarcity will create value and just by waiting, kisses become gold.

  35. Exactly!
    May God’s grace be released upon you.

  36. I’m glad dear.
    God bless you too

  37. Hmmm…Nice counsel! But I might lose him just like that! Not kissing him makes him feel bored!

    1. You both need to sit and talk, using the wisdom of God

  38. Wow i’ve just been educated on a question that has been on my mind for a long time now.God bless you

    1. That’s great!
      You’re welcome

  39. Thanks a lot for blessing us with the word. May God bless you and continue to inspire us all to teach and learn from each other. Sending lots of love??.

    1. Amen. Thank you

  40. Wow! This is great

  41. Thank you so much for this. It’s timely and I’ve been blessed ?♥️???

    1. Oh I’m glad Morenike. Glory to Jesus.

  42. This is a well-detailed post, some fire is best left untouched. I made a link to this post on my website on the topic: How to deal with our emotions as a child of God. Thank you for writing this, ma’am.

    Here is the link to the post:

    1. Thank you for linking.
      Yes, you’re correct.

  43. Thank you so much ma for this preview
    I actually have committed so many of these and I thank God I am enlightened today
    The holy spirit asked me to stay away from ungodly relationship
    I didn’t get it which is why I visited your blog
    I was wondering how a Godly relationship would like
    More grace ma

    1. God bless you sis. Keep loving and honoring God.

  44. Absolutely blessed
    Thank you ma’am

  45. I just me him and he said he love kissing so much,what will I do

  46. I just me him and he said he love kissing what can I do

  47. Thank you for this – very concise and biblical advice

  48. Thank you for this, recently I engaged in kissing in my relationship and physical actions and now I feel like I made a huge mistake, and now I’m so afraid I might not be able to see the other person again. I blame myself for it and I just feel like it cant be fixed. 🙁

  49. This has been very insightful, as a person growing spiritually I think understanding what God thinks about certain things is very important because I am not my own so I ought to live a life that honors God only. Thank you

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