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Is there hope for your future children?

Happy new month darlings. It’s December, Wow! 2017 is almost over. My next four posts for this year will be very strategic. Make sure not to miss them.

But today, I thought to share something different;

Almost everyone I know has at least one problem with their parent(s). Mostly fathers.
Smoking fathers, jobless-angry fathers, wife beating fathers, cheating parents, rich but ungodly parents.
From childhood sexual abuse to neglect to physical violence to emotional pain.
And what I have come to realize is; Fathers with wrong understanding produce nagging and angry wives.
Whenever I’m worried and upset at certain decisions made by our parents whose results we are suffering from today, God always reminds me of something; If they knew better, they would have done better.
There is a strong societal narrative that we must excuse harm if the intention was good; some parents had good intentions but produced wrong result due to the wrong approach.
But now it’s late and the milk is already spilt. Of what use are our tears? Even though some of them (parents) still won’t admit they were wrong and welcome the better way being introduced to them, we still have some parents who believe they could have done better and are ready to effect little changes where possible.

Do you want a better life for your kids?

Unfortunately, there is a category of people that think since they went through certain things, they do not care if their children go through same. If you belong to that category of people then this post isn’t for you because I’m not here to persuade you or make you see reasons why your children should have a better life.

Be determined to correct the mistakes of your parents with your life.

-Apostle Joshua Selman

This post is for people who didn’t have a “great” family and are ready to put in effort to make sure they don’t bring in children to the world to experience the same pain they experienced.
You saw your dad beat your mom for whatever reason and couldn’t do anything about it but what assurance is there that you won’t beat your own wife when extremely provoked? Sister, what characters have you imbibed that’ll make you live at peace with your spouse?
You saw your dad get drunk night after night and the result was your 10 siblings. You have started sipping small strong drinks. Do you think it’s going to end there?
You and your siblings had to suffer because your parents were financially constrained due to one stream of income, your dad asked your mom not to work or your mom just refused to work. What are you currently doing in your life that’ll avoid that for your children? Are you getting a skill or just waiting for government jobs?

Any way out?
You need to identify your parents mistakes, stop blaming them for it, unlearn the unhealthy habits you have learnt and be determined to give your future family a better life.
Youths tend to dwell in regrets on mistakes made by their parents and use it as an excuse for their failures and limitations; that is a dangerous symptom of laziness.

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.

Jonathan Larso

You know better so DO better!

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Currently I am Episode 1

Hey guys! Surprised to see me so soon?

Well I have decided to be more consistent blogging and make one post every week (which is a step forward) and Friday is the chosen day. So head over here on Fridays for something new.

Today, I’m posting about My Life Lately. I finally decided to join the #CurrentlyIAm trend. So here you go!

Currently I am :

Appreciating : God’s amazing love over me.

Anticipating : My birthday which is on the 11th December. I’m particularly anticipating it this year, for personal reasons ?.

Excited about : My hair – it’s growing and becoming healthier by the day.

Wearing : Jean trousers. It’s cold and very dusty in Zaria and putting on pants is not advisable.

Happy about : Valuable relationships. Friends, mentors, role models and amazing people around.

Reading : “The Smart Money Woman” by Arese Ugwu and “Harnessing Your Emotion” by Andrew Wommack

Listening to : Amazing by Dunsin Oyekan who I’ve just discovered is an amazing husband and father.

Admiring : Sarah Jakes Roberts and her beautiful family.

Working on : My reading habits (school books). I haven’t opened school books since school closed and this wasn’t the plan.

Struggling with : Consistently working out. I resumed exercise recently and the struggle is real; from pains all over my body as a result of my staying away for too long, to laziness and procrastination. Once my body gets used to it, I promise never to stay away again.

Determined to : Add value to myself and become more consistent in blogging (I’ve decided to start posting every Friday ?).

Planning to : Make pancakes this weekend. (I hope to share the experience with you guys in a post soon).

Craving : Vanilla and red velvet flavored cake.

Learning : How to cook more dishes. At least to increase the quality and quantity of my wife material yard. And I’m Motivated by CulinaryPaulCulinaryPaul.

Irritated by : People who birth kids with no means of fending for them.

Devoting a large part of my time to : Yoruba movies and sleep and they both need to stop soon.

Inspired by : Nike Adeyemi.

In love with : Palazo trousers.

Wishing : I could fast forward school, graduate and just get to fully concentrate on what I really want to do.

There! This is my life lately and my first episode of “Currently I am” I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.

See you next Friday ?

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MY ROOMMATES

Hi faithful readers.

It’s been a while, I’m sorry for my prolonged silence; I was writing exams.

I’m done with my second semester exams, which implies that I’m moving to a new level (yayyy?) and moving to another room (?).

The thought of getting familiar with another set of people and getting to understand them has been on my mind.

God put it in my heart to share this because He’s been helping me lately with my relationship with people.

At the beginning of the year, I clicked a room in the hostel and met new faces who were later to become my friends and sisters; meet them.

PS:

  • My proximity and closeness to them determines how much I can say about them.

SOPHIA

Tall, beautiful and very intelligent Edo girl. Her fashion sense is on a hundred ?. She’s blunt and down to earth, an amazing cook and a selfie addict.

Also a passionate lover of football.
She’s the only person I can relate to almost totally, also the only person in the room that understands almost everything I say. She’s very caring and very sacrificial. Loves sleep too much and goes for lectures 30minutes or an hour late.

But…
She gets moody at random and shuts everyone out.
She could be very rude and annoying. She expects everyone to be polite to her; you can’t get your own stuff back from her without saying a “please”.

Most of the time, she’s very unapologetic about her actions.

HALIMA

Also very beautiful and a fashionista. Very funny and lovely to be with. Has a tiny voice that on it’s own, makes you laugh. We always tease her that her husband doesn’t need TV, she’s enough entertainment. Never a dull moment with her.
Foodie ?; if allowed, she can have breakfast 3 times.

But…
Practices favoritism. Sometimes very rude and speaks rashly (may not be intentional).

Doesn’t filter her words.

HIRHYEL (MY BUNK MATE)

Dark and beautiful northern Christian.
Not a fashion person. Super cook. Book smart and intelligent.
Sometimes, she can be caring for Africa.

But…

Sometimes, speaks rudely to everybody without giving regard.
Speaks slowly but poisonously.
Withdraws to herself a lot.

ASIYA.

Beautiful northern girl. Speaks very good English.
Great talker; story teller of the room.
Hates cooking.

But…
Sometimes, decides to be on her own, just like that!
Could be sarcastic.

Cherishes her bed and doesn’t want anybody on it (as if that were possible ?)
Has a sharp piercing voice that can raise the dead (We call her soprano voice)

KHADIJAH

Beautiful fulani girl with beautiful long curly hair.
Loves her books more than anything in the world.
Could read a whole day nonstop, if allowed.
Fashionista; she sews and wears the most beautiful Ankara styles in the room. Make up artist and selfie addict.

But…
Her reading habit makes every other person in the room look like they’re not serious.
A little secretive.

MARIA

Dark northerner. Great talker and story teller. Nice and sacrificial.

But…
Very sarcastic and rude. Talks way too much and wants everyone silent while she speaks – which means we won’t be talking in a while.

MUNARH

Very pretty Igala girl. Fashion sense ??. Introvert?.
Very humble and nice. Quiet and reserved. Very open to learning new things.

But…
Always with her phone and hardly speaks to anyone. Sometimes ignores you when you talk because talking is stressful for her.
Never in the mood to go out so she bails on us most times when we plan to go out together.

Dupe. (MY HUMBLE SELF)

Beautiful Yoruba girl?.

Fashionista.
Very intelligent. Jesus lover that never stops playing worship in the room. Cares for everyone and wants to know why you’re moody, if you’ve eaten, where you’re going and when you’ll be back.
Hates cooking.

But…
Withdraws to herself sometimes.
Comes in from church very late almost everyday and disturbs everybody’s sleep. Phone rings at any time of the day.

Plays worship as soon as she’s up and messgaes during the day and everybody has to listen.
Gets upset whenever anyone sits on her bed or makes use of her properties without her consent.

First semester was tough for all of us. We were always having issues with one another. We lacked understanding and mutual agreement.

Everybody had an issue or two with another person.

Today, you think “oh I think she’s better, I like her” and tomorrow, she shows you a side of her, you’ll detest.

But second semester I got to understand everyone of them (including myself) and saw the good in them, regardless of their shortcomings.

When I saw the;

-beauty and wonder in SOPHIA
-beauty and humility in HALIMA
-beauty and good intentions in HIRHYEL
-beauty and plainness in ASIYA
-beauty and ambition in KHADIJAH
-beauty and sacrifice in MARIA
-beautiful and pleasant personality MUNARH is
-beauty and love in DUPE.

I began to relate with them better. I understood them and tried to see things from their point of view and not judge. I leant their values and respected them.

Could it be, that the reason you’re having people issues is due to lack of mutual understanding and respect?

Could it be that you’re always at loggerheads with someone because you don’t see things like them?

Could it be that you do not like people because all you see is the bad in them and not the good?

When you understand people, respect their values, see things from their perspective and never judge them based on their actions, you’ll relate better with them and love them.

There is nobody who is bad; this is the secret to loving everyone.
When you understand that people are slaves to their understanding, then you can look at someone “unlovable” and still love them.

-Apostle Joshua Selman

I urge you dear reader, never write anyone off. Give them the chance.

There’s a good in everyone you meet.

There are no bad people, just people with bad behaviors. You don’t want to know what some of them have been through.
Change them if you can and if you can’t, just love them.