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Who Are You Becoming?

“What did you just say?” My brother exclaimed.

“What?” I asked, not looking up from the books I was arranging.

I was home from school for the mid semester break. My mom and my kid brother were in my room, helping me arrange some books.
We had been talking about random things when I subconsciously blurted out a phrase in Nigerian pidgin English (Pidgin is an adulterated form of English mostly spoken by locals in Nigeria).

“You just spoke pidgin perfectly” My brother replied.

“Did I?”

“Yes, you did” my mum answered.

“Wow” I was speechless.

Speaking pidgin is not a norm in my house. My father is particularly against any form of vernacular. We only got to start learning our own local dialect when we had passed our formative years. So hearing me speak pidgin was a big deal.

That night, I reminisced on what happened during the day and realized that I had been influenced.
Let me explain.

When my school is in session, I stay on the campus, in the hostel where I have about 5 roommates.

Now, speaking pidgin is a norm in my room and my roommates are flawless at it.
Most times when a conversation is going on in the room, I am usually the only one who sticks to normal English because I don’t speak pidgin well. But as time passed, I became accustomed to hearing them speak it, that I started getting good at it. It was so bad that I even began to think to myself in pidgin sometimes.

Recently, I’ve been learning powerfully on the power of the company one keeps. Your company greatly influences your life and destiny.

My closest friend in class made me realize this. I have subconsciously imbibed countless traits from her that I didn’t notice early. Thankfully, they were virtues and not vices.

Similarly I hear her say and do some things that I do frequently which she didn’t do before.

“You’re the average of the five people spend the most time with,” – Jim Rohn.

You must have found yourself at one time or the other speaking like your best friend, your roommate or your classmate. Maybe you even caught yourself using the words or slangs they use.
This is why; Your life mercilessly reflects the people you spend the most time with.

No matter how much you hate a person’s habit, if you consistently stay within the jurisdiction of that person’s influence, you will pick up a trait or two from them.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

When you spend time with people, you begin to speak, act and talk like them. This is the simple explanation for we being able to identify people from specific geographical locations; their togetherness for years created a pattern and a lifestyle (what we call culture) that everybody within the confines of that place adapts to.

Why did I stress all of this?

According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, [the people you habitually associate with] determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”

There are certain factors that are nonnegotiable for success.
Success has a protocol and certain habits that we imbibe from people around, are repellants to it.

In places like offices, classrooms, business places and so on you may not have complete control over the people you spend time with, so you may find yourself spending a huge chunk of your time with the wrong people. In cases like this, you must be conscious about what part of them gets into you and spend any spare time you have with better people.

In many cases however, we’re at liberty to choose who we spend a bulk of our time with but because we’re yet to understand the gravity of their impact and influence in our lives, we’re careless about it.

Make a decision today, to be intentional about who you spend your time with.
Do not hang around people who you do not want to be and act like.

Instead, spend quality time with people of character and virtue and in no time, you’ll find yourself evolving. That’s why we spend time with God; so we can look and be like Him.

You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.
Charlie Tremendous Jones

Greatness is contagious. Failure is too.
Choose ye this day who you will become.


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10 Habits of Highly Successful People

Contrary to what many of us have been made to believe, success is very predictable, just as failure is.
You can tell if you’ll be successful or not because success does not happen in a day, it is a build up and product of habits.

There is a formula for success.

No one becomes successful by accident. Everyone who is successful today practiced something over time. Some intentionally practiced it, while others unknowingly practiced it. But they both became successful because a formula gives result regardless of your acknowledgement of the formula.

It is important however to know the formula for success because, it makes you able to repeat and replicate your result multiple times even in the lives of others, but someone who “accidentally” became successful is at risk because they can not replicate it.

When you do things mistakenly and succeed, it is more dangerous than failing because it creates fear in you and complacency. – Apostle Joshua Selman

It’s been quite a long year and we have recorded a lot of successes and failures. Most of the failures stemmed from things we either didn’t know or things we knew and didn’t do.
You a need superior quality of knowledge to do better and greater in 2019.

The things you do daily form your habits and your habits directly translate into your lifestyle.
Bad habits are toxic and lead to a bad lifestyle.

Here are 10 habits successful people practice, supported by quotes from them that are sure to guarantee your success.

Successful people;

1. Are disciplined

Every other point after this is tied to discipline.
In his book “No excuses – The power of self-discipline“, Brian Tracy defined Discipline as self control, self mastery, self denial and delayed gratification.

With self-discipline, I have built successful businesses in training, consulting, speaking, writing, recording, and distribution. My audio and video programs, books, seminars, and training programs have sold more than $500 million in thirty-six languages and fifty-four countries. Over the years I have consulted for more than 1,000 companies and trained more than 5 million people in live seminars and talks. In every case, the practice of self-discipline has been essential to my success” – Brian Tracy

2. Are ever learning

Successful people are great readers and learners. Two powerful ways to constantly learn is through reading books and relating with intelligent minds.

Books allow you to fully explore a topic and immerse yourself in a deeper way than most media today.” Mark Zuckerberg

“There is divine beauty in learning…. To learn means to accept the postulate that life did not begin at my birth. Others have been here before me, and I walk in their footsteps.” ―Elie Wiesel

3. Have mentors and role models

One profound lesson I got from a successful pastor and mentor is to search for the top three most successful people in my field or assignment and study their lives closely.

“Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influences in his or her life. I don’t care what you do for a living—if you do it well I’m sure there was someone cheering you on or showing the way. A mentor.” — Denzel Washington

Anthony Robbins says, “Success leaves clues”.

4. Develop themselves

Personal development is your duty. There are no limits for a man who invests and develops himself.

“Life is growth. If we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead.” ―Morihei Ueshiba

Related post: Powerful and Practical Ways to Improve Yourself

5. Have a healthy mindset

“What we think, we become.” – Buddha

“What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill

6. Solve problems

Successful people are problem solvers. When you become the solution to a particular problem in your society, a need is placed on you and it brings reward to the degree to which you solve them.

“Inside of every problem lies an opportunity.” – Robert Kiyosaki

7. Dress well

Dress like it until you become it. This is not to encourage extravagance and unnecessary luxury but to encourage decent and clean dressing that makes you presentable.

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. – Zig Ziglar

8. Are risk takers

If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”
– Jim Rohn

9. Network and keep Valuable Relationships

The fastest way to rise to greatness is to master the art of relationships. – Apostle Joshua Selman

Related Post: Networking

10. Don’t Quit

“The difference between winning and losing is most often not quitting.”
– Walt Disney

“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.”
— Steve Jobs

Intentionally plan for 2019 by studying your daily habits and replacing the bad ones.

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Hi faithful readers.

It’s been a while, I’m sorry for my prolonged silence; I was writing exams.

I’m done with my second semester exams, which implies that I’m moving to a new level (yayyy?) and moving to another room (?).

The thought of getting familiar with another set of people and getting to understand them has been on my mind.

God put it in my heart to share this because He’s been helping me lately with my relationship with people.

At the beginning of the year, I clicked a room in the hostel and met new faces who were later to become my friends and sisters; meet them.


  • My proximity and closeness to them determines how much I can say about them.


Tall, beautiful and very intelligent Edo girl. Her fashion sense is on a hundred ?. She’s blunt and down to earth, an amazing cook and a selfie addict.

Also a passionate lover of football.
She’s the only person I can relate to almost totally, also the only person in the room that understands almost everything I say. She’s very caring and very sacrificial. Loves sleep too much and goes for lectures 30minutes or an hour late.

She gets moody at random and shuts everyone out.
She could be very rude and annoying. She expects everyone to be polite to her; you can’t get your own stuff back from her without saying a “please”.

Most of the time, she’s very unapologetic about her actions.


Also very beautiful and a fashionista. Very funny and lovely to be with. Has a tiny voice that on it’s own, makes you laugh. We always tease her that her husband doesn’t need TV, she’s enough entertainment. Never a dull moment with her.
Foodie ?; if allowed, she can have breakfast 3 times.

Practices favoritism. Sometimes very rude and speaks rashly (may not be intentional).

Doesn’t filter her words.


Dark and beautiful northern Christian.
Not a fashion person. Super cook. Book smart and intelligent.
Sometimes, she can be caring for Africa.


Sometimes, speaks rudely to everybody without giving regard.
Speaks slowly but poisonously.
Withdraws to herself a lot.


Beautiful northern girl. Speaks very good English.
Great talker; story teller of the room.
Hates cooking.

Sometimes, decides to be on her own, just like that!
Could be sarcastic.

Cherishes her bed and doesn’t want anybody on it (as if that were possible ?)
Has a sharp piercing voice that can raise the dead (We call her soprano voice)


Beautiful fulani girl with beautiful long curly hair.
Loves her books more than anything in the world.
Could read a whole day nonstop, if allowed.
Fashionista; she sews and wears the most beautiful Ankara styles in the room. Make up artist and selfie addict.

Her reading habit makes every other person in the room look like they’re not serious.
A little secretive.


Dark northerner. Great talker and story teller. Nice and sacrificial.

Very sarcastic and rude. Talks way too much and wants everyone silent while she speaks – which means we won’t be talking in a while.


Very pretty Igala girl. Fashion sense ??. Introvert?.
Very humble and nice. Quiet and reserved. Very open to learning new things.

Always with her phone and hardly speaks to anyone. Sometimes ignores you when you talk because talking is stressful for her.
Never in the mood to go out so she bails on us most times when we plan to go out together.


Beautiful Yoruba girl?.

Very intelligent. Jesus lover that never stops playing worship in the room. Cares for everyone and wants to know why you’re moody, if you’ve eaten, where you’re going and when you’ll be back.
Hates cooking.

Withdraws to herself sometimes.
Comes in from church very late almost everyday and disturbs everybody’s sleep. Phone rings at any time of the day.

Plays worship as soon as she’s up and messgaes during the day and everybody has to listen.
Gets upset whenever anyone sits on her bed or makes use of her properties without her consent.

First semester was tough for all of us. We were always having issues with one another. We lacked understanding and mutual agreement.

Everybody had an issue or two with another person.

Today, you think “oh I think she’s better, I like her” and tomorrow, she shows you a side of her, you’ll detest.

But second semester I got to understand everyone of them (including myself) and saw the good in them, regardless of their shortcomings.

When I saw the;

-beauty and wonder in SOPHIA
-beauty and humility in HALIMA
-beauty and good intentions in HIRHYEL
-beauty and plainness in ASIYA
-beauty and ambition in KHADIJAH
-beauty and sacrifice in MARIA
-beautiful and pleasant personality MUNARH is
-beauty and love in DUPE.

I began to relate with them better. I understood them and tried to see things from their point of view and not judge. I leant their values and respected them.

Could it be, that the reason you’re having people issues is due to lack of mutual understanding and respect?

Could it be that you’re always at loggerheads with someone because you don’t see things like them?

Could it be that you do not like people because all you see is the bad in them and not the good?

When you understand people, respect their values, see things from their perspective and never judge them based on their actions, you’ll relate better with them and love them.

There is nobody who is bad; this is the secret to loving everyone.
When you understand that people are slaves to their understanding, then you can look at someone “unlovable” and still love them.

-Apostle Joshua Selman

I urge you dear reader, never write anyone off. Give them the chance.

There’s a good in everyone you meet.

There are no bad people, just people with bad behaviors. You don’t want to know what some of them have been through.
Change them if you can and if you can’t, just love them.