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Aisha’s Dilemma

“Woman, speak to your daughter! She will marry whoever it is that I choose for her” Alhaji said as he stormed off. His baban riga flowing behind him.

“Noooooo” Aisha wailed. “Umar loves me and I love Him too…”

“Shut up! What do you know about love? You’re just 19. You will grow to love whoever your father chooses for you” Her mother interjected.

Umma please don’t do this to me, do you want me to be miserable for the rest of my life? Give me this chance to have a happy life please. Talk to Alhaji” Aisha pleaded, holding on to her mother’s wrapper.

“Aisha, listen to me, Your father knows what is best for you, after all, he gave birth to you. Please my daughter, try to see things his way. Umar’s father and yours have never been friends” Hajiya said, gently pulling out her wrapper from her daughter’s palm.

“Is that all that matters to you? One stupid fight? What about my happiness, Umma? Do you and Alhaji ever think of my happiness too? Or do you want me to be an unhappy old woman like you? You were forced to marry Alhaji and look how it has turned out for you. Sadness is written all over…” a stinging slap for her mother cut Aisha short.

“How dare you talk to me in such disgusting manner? You are a very stupid girl, wawuya kawai” Hajiya hissed, walking out angrily through the same door her husband took.

“How will I ever live without Umar? My life will be miserable. After all the plans we have made together for our future. I can’t stand any other man” Aisha said to herself, tears pouring down her face.




It’d been 20 minutes since Aisha got to Umar’s house bearing the bad news from her parents.

She had sat, watching him pace back and forth more than 30 times.

“Say something please” She said, almost whispering.

“Let’s run away” He bluntly replied.


“You heard me. Let’s elope. It’s obvious that your parents will never like me and soon they’ll get you a husband. Come with me now and let us go very far before it gets to that point”

“Umar, are you in your right senses? How dare you suggest such a thing?”

“I know how terrible it sounds but that’s the only option baby na. I can’t bear to see you leave me. Aisha I love you” Umar looked like he was going to cry. He had come to sit beside her, putting her hands in his.

“I can’t. I mean, it’s not even possible”

“It is, my darling. I’ll soon get a job with my medical certificate, my business can sponsor our trip and settlement in another state, pending when I get the job. We can go to Kano, I know how much you love the big city. I’ll do my best to give you your dream life then we can come back when tempers have cooled and beg our parents. You may just have to defer this semester or session and come back to continue later but everything will be fine Aisha, I promise.”

“Umar, I’m scared”

“Baby, please do this for us. If we allow them, these people will kill what we have” He went on his knees.




“I’m afraid your daughter will not consent, Alhaji. She seems to have been charmed by that boy”

Ahmed had come to pay a visit to Aisha’s parents after his friends told him that they had seen Aisha around Umar’s house.

“Don’t say that Ahmed. Aisha is my daughter and will do whatever I ask her to. Just be patient, she will be your wife.” Alhaji replied.

“I really hope so Alhaji. I desire your daughter, she’s so beautiful and decent unlike many ladies I know” Ahmed had a stern look on his face.

“I brought my daughter up well. She’s very intelligent and decent, the envy of other maidens. As you know she’s already ripe for marriage and many suitors have come but I have turned them down. I want to make the right choice for her. I want a man who will allow her continue her university education as she’s in her 3rd year already and you are the man I have chosen so you have nothing to worry about.”

“Thank you Alhaji, you know I’m up to the task. Aisha will finish in school and even go for her second degree but I’m still worried she’ll choose Umar over me” Ahmed fumbled with his car keys.

“She won’t” Alhaji said, trying to convince himself too.

“She is at his house as we speak and that is why I came here to report to you”

Alhaji stood up in anger. “What!? Okay. I know what to do. I will handle this”


Two weeks later.

Aisha ran out of her lecture theatre. Umar’s friend Habib had sent her a text saying Umar was involved in an accident and was rushed to the hospital.

She rushed into her car, started it and sped like she had never done in her life. Her heart raced. What could have happened?

In no time she was at the hospital.

One look at the love of her life and Aisha burst into tears. Whatever had happened to him had left him battered, barely recognizable.


“He was attacked on his way home today by a group of hoodlums. Apparently, your dad had sent them to warn Umar to leave you. Umar’s life is in danger because of you.” Habib explained to Aisha as they walked through the corridor outside the ward where Umar was being treated. Umar had been fast asleep when Aisha got to the hospital and the nurses had told her not to disturb him.

“But why?” Aisha sniffed. Fresh tears poured down her face. “But why would Alhaji do such a thing?”

Deep within her, she wasn’t surprised. For two weeks now, she had been scared such a thing would happen after her father had slapped her for going to Umar’s house and said he’d handle both of them. Aisha knew her father and knew how far he could go.

“Umar doesn’t want to take this up with him for obvious reasons. You both need to talk, he should be awake now. Maybe you should go in and see him.”


“Umar I’m so sorry. I knew he was angry but I didn’t know he could go this far” Aisha whispered. Her eyes were swollen from tears.

“Your father hates me for no reasonable reason.”

“I’ll talk to him”

“Talk?” Umar laughed bitterly. “Did you say talk? Who can talk to your father? No one”.

” Umar please forgive him for my sake” Aisha managed to say as tears started pouring from her eyes again.

Umar flinched. He couldn’t bear watching her cry. Why did life have to be so hard? Why did he have to suffer for the fight his father had with Aisha’s father years before they were born? Was the fight even the reason or did Aisha’s father just hate him?

“Aisha, is this where our love story ends? Is this where the journey stops and we part ways? Is this how your father will break us?”

“No, Abba! Don’t say that” She sometimes called Umar “Abba” meaning “father”. She said he was everything to her including a father.

“Then let’s leave together. Let us leave this town and begin our lives afresh in a new place. Your father will get over it.”

“I can’t”


“Umar, isn’t there another way?”

“I can’t think of any. Your father has sworn never to give you his blessing if you marry me and he promises to hurt me. The only choice we have is to leave his sight.”

Abba Let us give him time and see if he changes.”


6 months later

Aisha walked through her father’s garden in the early hours of the morning. It was her wedding day.

Shortly after the first one, her father had sent people to attack Umar again.

Aisha smiled, a bitter regretful smile as she picked flowers from the garden as she strolled by.

Umar had come begging her to leave the city with him. He had gotten a job in Kano that came with a house and an official car. He promised to make her happy but she had refused. A decision she regretted immediately she made.

The next day, she had gone to Umar’s house only to be told that he left for Kano very early that day and left no address or contact. Aisha had cried every day for weeks.

Her father eventually forced her to accept Ahmed who she couldn’t even stand.

The days passed slowly and her wedding date was fixed.

“Aisha, come and have your bath. We don’t want to be late” Aisha’s mom called from inside.

Aisha sighed heavily. She was getting married to Ahmed while the love of her life was far away.

It was about to be a very long day.


“How dare you Aisha?”

The wedding was over, friends and family had gone back to their abodes. The wedding was a big one.

Aisha had been taken to her husband’s house and had done everything a new wife was expected to do.

She woke up late in the night and walked to the kitchen to get some water to drink when she heard footsteps and the voice behind her.

“How dare you?!” Her husband repeated.

Aisha looked up at her husband. “What do you mean Ahmed? What did I do?”

“You and your family made a fool out of me” Ahmed said, almost whispering.

“How? What are you talking about?” Aisha asked, even more confused.

Ahmed looked up at her with bloodshot eyes like he was ready to pounce on her any minute.

“Who disvirgined you?”

To be continued next week Friday

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed reading. Head back here next week Friday for the concluding part of the story.

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The world has different pictures of what an “ideal relationship” is and should be. Everyone seems to know what is required to maintain a great relationship.

Christians in love relationships ought to know that they’re different. They can’t subscribe and conform to the world’s description of “dating”.

As much as we’d love to go with everything trending, we have a blueprint and a template in the Bible.

This doesn’t mean Christian relationships are boring and no fun or that they’re rigid, monotonous and the same. No.

In fact, they’re very interesting, fun and fulfilling.

God is love so it’s only wise that His Word be our reference for Love related issues.

That you and your partner are Christians doesn’t make you both perfect. Neither does it mean the relationship will be without challenges or that your effort isn’t needed to make things work.

Painfully, I’ve watched many people in love relationships who love God and each other go their separate ways due to “unreconcilable differences”. Fights and disagreement that could have been avoided or sorted out led to huge messes that eventually erupted into something that couldn’t be fixed.

I’m not a relationship expert but from God’s Word, books I’ve read and people I’ve seen, I’ve coined out major ingredients that are very essential for a Christian relationship to thrive and scriptures in line.

Yes, you can have a happy Godly relationship with someone who loves God as much you do.

It is important you read this if you’re in a relationship to make things better and if you’re not to plan ahead.

Apart from passionately loving your partner, here are few very important keys you must know.

As you read, may your spirit he receptive and open to learn and make corrections.

Love God FIRST

A lot of people cry to God for partners, someone they can worship God and serve the purposes of His kingdom with, but as soon as that person comes walking into their life, guess what happens?

Yes, you guessed right. God is taken to the back seat.

How do you expect your “GODLY” relationship to thrive without GOD?

Matthew 22 37-39


Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Nothing and nobody should come before God, not even your partner.

Your time for God shouldn’t decrease because you got into a relationship.

Scrolling through your phone looking at their pictures shouldn’t replace flipping through your Bible to know the mind of God.

Night calls shouldn’t replace your quiet time and prayer time.

God wants you to love selflessly but He must come first in your heart and that of your partner. He is a jealous God.

When you get so caught up in the euphoric atmosphere of “being in love” that you forget God, it is only a matter of time before that love begins to fade and wane.


Relationships are all about giving. The Bible tells us that God so loved the world and as a result of the love He has for us, He GAVE His only begotten son.

No relationship can thrive without sacrificial giving. You can’t always have enough for two and that is where sacrifice comes in.

The greatest proof of love is sacrifice.

Time, money, ego and more will have to be laid down for the sake of your partner. Sacrifice involves putting your partner first.

1 John 3:16 NIV: This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.


The name of your partner should not only be in your mouth when you want to tell people of the amazing things they do. Their name should always be mentioned in your prayers.

Always pray for your partner.

They may be going through things they can’t discuss with you or fighting battles they don’t want to bother you with. Always stand in the gap and intercede. Your prayers can avert dangers they didn’t even know were looming above them.

Always pray for your relationship.

The Devil hates to see anything that looks good for God’s Kingdom so he can send in little seeds and vices in an attempt to destroy what you’re building. When you’re ignorant of his devices, little things will creep in and all of a sudden, you “don’t feel too right” about it anymore.


“Accountability is willingness to explain your actions” – Dr Mike Murdock.

I was under a teaching during the week and the speaker said he’d been trying to teach his lady about accountability.

He said accountability starts from the little things like explaining why you missed your partner’s call or why you’re late for your meeting or date.

Being accountable, entails you acknowledging that you can’t do things anyhow and explaining why when you do.


(Note that I’m not talking about abuse, harmful habits or toxic relationships)

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3, NLT),

Many people expect perfection from others so they begin to complain and feel uncomfortable when the flaws of their partner is revealed to them.

Nobody is perfect even if they’re Christians. That your partner loves God does not make them God.

They’ll love you enough to work on certain traits you’re not comfortable with but you must also love them enough to put up with other flaws that they can’t seem to get rid of.


And learn to let go.

1 Peter 4:8NIV: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

If any party lacks the ability to forgive in a relationship, the end of the relationship is very near. Sometimes, don’t ask questions, just forgive and let go.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32, NASB)

Praying together.

Matt 18:19

ESV:Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.


ESV:For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Praying together is a great form of intimacy.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy,
Love does not boast,
Love is not proud.


does not dishonor others,
Love is not self-seeking,
Love is not easily angered,
Love keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.


always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Related post: 10 Amazing marriages ???? I follow and lessons I’ve learnt.

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5 Amazing Marriages I Follow and Lessons I’ve Learned.

Happy Friday guys!

I’d love to tag today #CoupleCrushFriday

If you read my blog then you probably already know that I’m a “family person” but you may not know that I’m a “love person” too.

I love Love.

Everything you want has a model. No matter how “new” your dreams seem, there’s always someone who has done something similar, someone you can look up to and learn from while you input your own peculiarity.

I have couples I really admire and follow faithfully. One of which is my parents; I’ve learnt love, sacrifice, prayer and humility from them so my major couple crush are my parents.

Outside home, I have quite a number of people whose marriages are a representation of what I think marriage should be and I thought it right to share some with you guys.

For each couple, I’ll share at least one lesson their marriage has taught me.

1. Pastor Toure and First Lady, Pastor Sarah Roberts :

Whoever knows me very well would have predicted this before they even saw it. Sarah Jakes Roberts is the daughter of Bishop TD Jakes.

Sarah Jakes is my role model for many reasons, the major reason is that I share A LOT of peculiarities with her. I’ve followed her life for some years now and I greatly admire her so it was only normal for me to fall in love with her marriage with Toure.

There’s a whole lot to say about her and I hope to make a blog post about her, soon. Touré Roberts and his wife Sarah Jakes Roberts are co-pastors of One Church L.A. Touré has been named one of America’s top 100 influencers under 45 by He is the author of Purpose Awakening.

Their first date was a unique and amazing one. Sarah narrated; “He picked me up at my hotel and I remember that from the moment that I saw him when I got off the elevator I felt vulnerable and naked. Not naked like he’s looking at me, but naked like, I don’t think I can hide anything from him. There is something within me that wanted to be the truest version of myself with him. There was something that made me feel safe. Everything from him watching how I came down the stairs to him opening the door for me at the restaurant, it made me feel like for the first time in a very, very long time, I could be a soft, feminine, dainty woman and fall into the arms of a real man that could hold me down.”

Lessons: Toure and Sarah have taught me love in spite of flaws and failings. They also taught me that there’s no one who does not deserve to be loved. From them, I’ve also learnt the power in getting a partner who knows the Word and prays.

Toure’s line for asking Sarah out was “I want to serve you” that’s enough lesson for the guys. Selah.

Finally, I learnt how important it is to honor your partner. Toure always listens with rapt attention when Sarah speaks and Sarah does likewise; no room for familiarity.

2. Capt Tunde Demuren and Tolu (Toolz) Oniru : Captain and his princess tied the knot in 2016 and I’ve always admired what they share.

Lessons: I’ve learnt the power of money (lol). Love is sweeter when you and your husband are rich ? .

I’ve learnt the power of relationships! Captain and Toolz have friends in “high places ” hehe.

They support their friends all the time; at weddings and functions, no wonder they have this wonderful string of connection with almost everybody.

3. Timi and Busola Dakolo : Do I have to talk? I mean, everybody loves them!

Lessons: Don’t choose anything over your partner, not even career. Be proud of who you married. Be yourself with your spouse.

4. Pastor Sam and Pastor Nike Adeyemi :

I honor this couple a lot. Anointing and wisdom.

Lessons: If their vision don’t marry yours, don’t marry them!

5. My future husband and I ???

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Lesson: Follow God and the right people and your marriage will be heaven on earth.

Have a great weekend guys!