I gazed at my husband. My beautiful, strong and enchanting husband. He was walking from bed to bed, blasting in tongues and touching our kids, one after the other.
It was 1:30am.
My husband had silently snuck out of our bed and walked to our children’s room. I gently tiptoed after him. He didn’t know I followed him.
As I looked at him, my heart swelled with pride. This is my husband.
He continued praying over our 3 beautiful daughters. This was something he did as often as possible. He woke up to pray over me and my kids. Sometimes, I joined him, other times, he just let me sleep while he stepped into his office as our priest and watchman.
He prayed over them for about 20 minutes then gave each of them a kiss on their forehead. It always amazed me how they slept through it all.
My children are very sensitive to sound and wake up every time there’s noise around them. But whenever their dad prayed over them, blasting in tongues, sometimes loudly, they never seemed disturbed, they continued sleeping peacefully.
After giving them pecks, my husband turned and walked to the door. He smiled when he saw me there, leaning on the wall and watching him.
“Well look who missed me already. I didn’t want to wake you up” He said as he walked towards me, smiling.
I smiled back.
When he got to where I was, he held my waist and planted a kiss on my lips.
My pulse began to race. He still had this effect on me, 8 years into marriage.
My heart still skipped ten times whenever he looked at me.
Together, we walked back to our room.
The next day was Monday, I got back from work by 5pm and went into the kitchen to cook.
Whenever I closed from work earlier than my husband, I did the cooking.
I was still cooking when my husband walked into the kitchen.
“I just lost my job”
“I refused to take the deal, so Mr Morris pushed some buttons and I was given a sack letter after work today. I don’t have a job anymore”
I stopped peeling the yam I was about to cook for dinner and turned to face my husband.
“But that’s not fair!” I said, throwing my hands up.
My husband didn’t talk. He just stared into space.
“Baby, it’s going to be okay. Come here” I walked towards him hugged him, trying to process everything in my mind.
Some weeks back, he told me about a project he was working on for the firm he worked with. It was a huge project which had so many potentials. Some men in the office had approached him, asking him to share the proceeds of the project with them, thereby reducing the amount that goes to the firm. My husband being the man that he is, had blatantly refused. This infuriated the men and they sent him all sorts of threats which we didn’t take seriously until now.
My husband had lost his job because of his high standards and his unwillingness to compromise on his principles.
What were we going to do? I held onto him, trying to ward off his pain and mine as well.
The months that followed were very hard. We prayed, applied to different companies and waited but nothing seemed to be happening.
My salary wasn’t enough to meet all our needs. We had to change the kids school to a more affordable one and cut down on other things around the house.
None of this pleased my husband and I watched as he got weary daily, gradually loosing hope. He barely ate and was loosing weight very fast.
One evening, after work, I got back home and walked into our room. I saw my husband sitting on the bed. His head bent, his back facing me. Pain, almost visible all over him.
I watched helplessly as the issues at hand threatened to rip every sense of leadership my husband had.
This was hard for him. For me. For us.
His back was bent but I saw a drop of tear fall to the ground. Then the words I had so happily said 8 years ago, came back to me, almost judging me
“I, Oyindamola, take you Oladayo,
to be my husband
to have and to hold
from this day forward
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part
according to God’s Holy law
In the Presence of God, I make this vow“
These words became very real to me. I walked over to my husband and took him in my arms. He was sobbing gently – like a baby – vulnerable and soft.
You see, I had been the type of girl who would always say “I can never suffer with any man” Or “I’m not ready to be a sacrificial lamb”.
But there’s something that love does to you.
I mean true and real love. The God Kind. The love that the Bible says “never fails”.
As I hugged this man that I’ve come to love more than anything and used my fingers to wipe the tears rolling from his eyes, I knew I couldn’t leave him. I was going to stay right here supporting him.
The weight would be heavier on me, but I was ready to let him lean on me.
My heart was in pain. I hated to see the man I loved so much like this. But this wasn’t the time for me to cry. I had to be strong for us. This was the time for me to be a pillar to my husband.
“Baby, let’s pray.”
“And I’ve prayed too, but I want us to pray together”
My husband looked at me. His eyes were red. His face swollen.
I got on my knees, still holding his hands. Then he joined me, getting on his knees too.
That night, we prayed, cried and worshipped together.
Praying made us feel much better as it lifted the burden and gave us peace of mind but it didn’t take the bills away.
We still had to manage and I had to work extra hours so I could get bonuses at work.
We continued this way for about two months but we didn’t stop praying, individually, as a couple and as a family. The girls (our children) sometimes held hands together and prayed for their daddy.
Some weeks later, an old friend Tega visited me at the office.
Tega was my friend and classmate from primary school. He had left the country with his parents immediately after our final exams then.
We had reconnected years later on Facebook and chatted once in a while.
He came to my office in the afternoon when I was preparing to go for lunch and asked if he could take me to lunch. I sent my husband a text to inform him and he approved.
While at lunch, Tega and I caught up on the past years, talking and laughing about our childish shenanigans.
“You’ve really blossomed from a young pretty girl into a very attractive woman” He said as he took a bite of the snack he was having.
He had ordered doughnuts and a soft drink while I ordered jollof rice.
“Thank you Tega. Thanks to God and my husband”
“I really wish I stayed back in the country and hooked you on time”
I ignored his comment, concentrating on my food and making a promise to myself never to see him again. Then as if reading my mind, he asked
“Can I take you out to dinner this weekend?”
“Tega, did you miss the part where I said I’m married? I’m not that kind of a woman. I love my husband and I love God.”
Silence followed and I couldn’t continue eating my food. I got up to leave but he held my hand, stopping me.
“I’m really sorry Oyin. Forgive me. I probably thought you’re somebody like me. This will not repeat itself again, I promise.”
I sat down back, looking away. He continued to beg.
“I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have. I’m actually in the country for a very short time. I came in to manage my uncle’s firm here in Abuja, pending when I find good hands that can take over. I was hoping to ask you if you knew anyone or if you could even quit your job to take the post of the managing director at my uncle’s company. It really promises a huge pay.”
And that was how my husband got a job as a managing director of one of the biggest companies in the city. His pay was over 8 times his former salary. Our lives changed like day and night.
Tega returned the states and got married. God used him for what He wanted and returned him back.
I was happy. Our days of hardship were over.
Love means to commit yourself without guarantee. – Anne Campbell
Love is useless without commitment. Hard times are inevitable once in a while, even in the lives of the ones we love. It is at times like this that our love for them is tried and tested.
If I really love people, I will never stop loving them. It will not matter what happens. Whatever things may happen, I will still continue to love. If I love, then, during all things, I will still continue to believe. If I love, then, during all things, I will still continue to hope for good things. If I love then, during all things, I will still continue to be patient and strong.
1 Corinthians 13:7 EASY
Love will not be always be rainbows, ecstasy, butterflies and chemistry. Sometimes, love will require that you hold your partner’s hands through the storm. That you be a pillar when they’re weak. That you help them find ways out of messes they get themselves in.
Love demands that you believe the best for your partner or friend when things are bad. One characteristic of love is that it hopes for the best. Even at the worst state of a person, your love for them should be able to hold on.
The God kind of love is not one that shrinks back in the day of adversity. Love is a decision and everyday you must make the decision never to stop.
Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].
1 CORINTHIANS 13:7 AMP
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV
I’d love to read your comments below ❤