Tag: Before marriage

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31 PRAYERS AND DECLARATIONS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE AND SPOUSE || FOR SINGLES AND MARRIED

DECLARATIONS OVER YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOUR SPOUSE

I declare in the name of Jesus that my husband/wife will love God with all their heart. (Mark 12:30)

I decree and declare that I will never walk on egg shells in my home. I am comfortable with my spouse and we are at peace and ease with each other in Jesus name.

My spouse and I will not grow apart. We will grow together in love, God, and other areas of life in Jesus name.

Infidelity, lack of trust and deceit is far from my home. Satan, be gone from my family! Jesus is King over this home.

I decree that my husband/wife’s body will please me. I will be attracted to them and never lose my interest in them.
We will both be disciplined to do all it takes to remain healthy, and attractive.

I declare in the name of Jesus that my husband/wife will find happiness in work.
(Ecc. 2:24)


I decree and declare that my spouse is planted by the brooks of bliss. Our soul is steeped in the rivers of blessings. Our roots are deep and our leaves are green. We are fresh and flourishing.


I declare in the name of Jesus that my wife/husband will be kept safe from temptation. (Matt. 6:13)

I decree and declare that my husband/wife has divine and good health.
(3 John 1:2)


I decree and declare that I will become the wife (husband) (s)he needs me to be. (Prov. 31:10)


I decree and declare that my wife/husband will grow in faith.
(Eph. 3:16-19)

I decree and declare that we, as a couple will be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger in the name of Jesus.(James 1:19-20)

I decree and declare that my wife/husband has deep happiness.
(Ecc. 3:12-13)

I decree and declare that we, as a couple will be content (Heb. 13:5-6)

I decree and declare that we will love God with all our heart. (Mark 12:30)

In Jesus name, Amen.



PRAYERS OVER YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOUR SPOUSE


Father Lord,
Thank you for the life of my (future) wife/husband.
Please strengthen them when they’re weak
And grant them peace and clarity in
life in Jesus name.

Father, please give my husband peace of mind as he deals with the stresses of life. Give him clarity & wisdom as he makes decisions for himself & our family.

Help my wife to rely on you alone no matter what challenges life throws at her.

Lord, order their steps daily. Remind them that no matter what comes their way, you Lord are able to help them.

Father, surround my spouse with the right influences. Let them be in the right company always.

I pray for my (future) partner’s business or career. I may not know who (s)he is or what (s)he does, but Lord, you do.
Please give him/her the courage to move
forward in life. Help him/her in their struggles and be their strength.

Father, I pray that you bless the work of their hands. If (s)he doesn’t have anything to do at the moment that you Lord will help him find something profitable to do.

Lord, direct him/her on the right path to finding a career. If (s)he’s already working, I pray that you will establish his/her work.
Help him/her to be diligent and hardworking
Bless what (s)he does and let it be fruitful. In Jesus’ name.

Father, strengthen his/her desire to grow and develop in you, to spend time in your presence, and to walk in obedience to your word.

In everything, be by his/her side and remind him/her that (s)he’s not alone. And you are always with him/her.

Help him/her to grow in faith no matter
what comes his/her way.

Lord, bless him/her in everything and in
every way. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Lord, help us see the good in one another. Help us stay committed to each other. Help me put my spouse’s needs first.
Help us show humility when we
disagree and to keep our priorities straight


Father, bless our physical health so we
can serve You more.

Lord, guide our future decisions for Your
glory. Help us respect one another and help us display honesty always.

Help us teach our children Your
ways and help us deepen our friendship.

Help us love You above all else!

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Do I really want to get married? Does a believer have to get married? Let us have this honest conversation.

Apart from the fact that in Nigeria, once you conclude a certain level of formal education, you are expected to get married and start a family of your own, what other reason do you have for wanting to get married?

Last week, the thoughts of marriage filled my mind. It didn’t just sprout out of nowhere. It was initiated by different things; social media posts, wedding pictures everywhere, discussions with people, etc.

I had had a discussion with a senior colleague who was encouraging me to get married in school since I am running a 6-year course, the country is making it longer than 6 years already, and many of my mates aren’t waiting anymore. They’re getting married.

The conversation was an interesting one. This senior colleague of mine is a good conversationalist. He almost made me start considering getting married the next week because of the great points he raised and how fun he made marriage sound. He was very convincing. Lol.

It’s funny how this happened just last week. And this week, I am in an entirely different mental space. A space where I’m asking myself why I want to get married and if marriage is necessary.

Just last week, I wanted to tie the nuptial knot so bad. This week, I’m asking myself if I really want to do this marriage thing and why.

I honestly believe that it is super important for every single person to get to this point where they ask themselves this question and answer it honestly.

A young lady asked me a question sometime last year. She wanted to know if marriage was compulsory and if women have to get married to fulfil purpose. I answered in the negative of course. Giving her scriptural backing and examples.

The only thing that is a do or die affair is salvation. Not marriage.

Marriage is not a criteria or prerequisite for heaven.

Even purpose. Unless your purpose/assignment is directly linked to marriage, and having children, you can fulfil purpose without getting married.

Don’t get me wrong. Marriage is good, beautiful, and very beneficial. But not for everyone.

Marriage is a big deal. A huge one. An enormous commitment.

It requires a lot of intentionality, practical Christianity, and work.
Add this to the fact that a large percentage of women, especially in my part of the world, become worse versions of themselves when they get married. Was this God’s intention? Absolutely not.

Marriage is an adumbration of the union between Christ and the church. We know that that union is a beautiful one that benefits the bride in amazing ways.
But when we begin to see that the version of marriage around us is one that leaves us in a terrible state, we need to dissect it and look into it. And not just rush into it because it looks like what everyone is doing and what is expected of us.

Does a believer have to get married?

If you do not want to get married, scripture is clear on that. You do not have to.

But if you want to get married, I think it is really important for you to ask yourself why.

Why do I want to get married?
Answering this question will help you better prepare, plan, and choose a partner wisely.

Even though Apostle Paul recommends that people who desire marriage, get married so that they don’t “burn” (be consumed in passion, continually battle with lust), I think that sex should not be your only reason for getting married.

It just isn’t a strong enough reason.

Plus, making that your only or primary reason will cloud your judgement, make you hasty, and may leave you disappointed.

God created marriage for companionship, support, procreation, and intimacy.

But He didn’t say that marriage would be a walk in the park, without issues and differences. No, He didn’t.

In fact, in the first marriage that the Bible shows us, there were issues. Issues so big that led to our need for redemption.

If two people who had no parents, were created by God, and placed in the same garden could have differences to the point of throwing blames at each other, (Gen 3:12), it is not very wise to expect a perfect relationship void of differences with someone who has different parents, orientation, perspective, and personality from you.

Living with someone and choosing to be committed to them will be challenging sometimes. Apostle Paul stated one of his reasons for encouraging people to stay unmarried in 1 Corinthians 7:28 GNB.

Marriage is beautiful and can be very enjoyable but it can not complete or fulfil you, if you aren’t already complete in God and yourself.

It also comes with its responsibilities;
Do you want it?
Are you ready to put in the work?
Do you have someone worth going on that journey with? (Because trust me, not everyone is worth it. When you look closely at some people’s behavior, and tendencies, you’d rather remain single and burn than go on a lifelong commitment with them).

Do you want to get married? Tell me why in the comments below. If you don’t, I’d love to know why too!

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What should we discuss before marriage?

Understanding that you and your partner are different people in many ways is very important. When you understand this, you will see the need to know what their thoughts are on many things and voice your own thoughts and opinions too.

You can’t be having conflicting opinions about many crucial things in life with someone you intend to spend the rest of your life with.

I had a discussion with a few friends; married, newly married, about to be married, and singles about what partners should discuss before marriage.

I got a lot of interesting and helpful responses which I’m about to share.

So, if you intend getting married anytime in future, keep reading. You should also share with your friends who need to know these things.

sharing is caring

I am certain that no one has ever gone into marriage 100% prepared but causes for disagreements can be drastically reduced when certain things are discussed and settled ahead of time.

From my personal knowledge and the discussion I had with my friends, I coined out the following.

What should we discuss before marriage?

1. Money

lol, I tried hard not to make this the first but I couldn’t help it. Your finances when you’re single or dating is entirely different from when you get married. In fact, according to a research, money is the leading cause for divorce.

It is important to keep emotions aside and logically and clearly talk about money and money roles. Be clear on your mindsets about money. Are you on the same page in that regard? Discuss the following questions:

  • Will both parties be working and earning money?
  • Is any party indebted? Talk about debts.
  • Are you both going to have a joint account?
  • What percentage of your income goes into the joint account?
  • Who pays for what? (Down to little things around the house)
  • Spending habits (How much is too much to be spent on luxuries like cars, shopping, etc)
  • Necessary investments to make and what percentage of income should go in that direction.
  • Plans to secure the financial future of kids.

2. Daily Routine

Our lives are a sum of our daily activities. It’s easy to focus on the big and major stuff and discuss them while we ignore the “little stuff”. However, the seemingly little things now have the tendency to become a big deal in marriage. It’s better to leave no stones unturned.

“I feel Intending couples should invest quality time in talking about their daily routine. This is because the the couple would be spending the rest on their lives together Living each day at a time, so it’s good dig in to what each person expects on a daily basis. Nothing breeds frustration like assumptions”

Talk about your daily routine. Ask questions.

  • What time should we be awake?
  • What time should be dedicated to morning altar and what activities should be done? (Bible reading or just prayer, praise and worship?)
  • How long should the morning devotion be?
  • What devotional guide/study plan will be used (especially if you don’t attend same denomination)
  • Time for night prayer
  • Should a goodnight kiss become a tradition every night?
  • When there is a misunderstanding, is it okay to go to bed that way and discuss when we are both calm or must we settle before going to bed?
  • Do we sleep with lights on or off?

Duties

  • Who does what? (Dresses the bed/arranges the room, cleans other areas of the house, washes and cleans the car(s), fixes dinner, takes out the trash, does the dishes and must dishes be done every night or it’s okay to carry over to morning?)
  • Who does the final checks for the night (lock doors, switch on security/outside lights and switch of indoor lights, TV and other electronic gadgets)

3. Sex

Seeing that a christian relationship is not a Sexually active one, it’s best to leave it till it’s close to the wedding. But you can talk about what you think you’d like to know. Like how far you are willing to explore your sexual life, how far you are willing to go, how often it should be and so on. It is also pertinent to discuss health concerns, if there are any.

4. Extended family

We must understand that when we marry someone, we are marrying their entire family too. Family is a huge part of both your lives but you’re coming together to start a new family which should be priority.

It is important to create systems to help you still stay in touch with your individual families and show them love but still prioritize each other.

Boundaries should be set. It is important to discuss about every family member in detail with your spouse to be. This should be vice versa. Emphasis on mum, dad and family members whose voice matter.

Tell your partner about their attitude and how to relate with them. You have lived with your family members all your life & you know their love and anger button. Relate this to your spouse to be to help he /she in relating with them.

How much room is to be given to in-laws?

  • Can in-laws visit? How long? What kind of in-law? (Just immediate family or everyone from the village?)
  • What are you both allowed to do and give to your families?
  • Do in-laws have a say in your marriage? In some families, some important decisions cannot be taken until certain people accept it. Who are these people? Let your partner know them. Could be an aunty, uncle, elder sibling.

5. Children

Children are a big deal. Forgetting to discuss them is a recipe for many unnecessary future differences.

  • Do you both want kids?
  • Are you waiting before having kids?
  • How many kids?
  • Are you spacing them?
  • Godforbid, but if the need arises, are you both open to the idea of things like IVFs, C-sections, Surrogacy?
  • Dual citizenship for your kids? Are you saving up or praying towards that?
  • Trust funds, and investments for the kids?

6. Family value system

Together, you should create your family value system while courting. Family value system is synonymous to family goals..
This is the system that guides your operation as a family..
For a Christian couple, you should have core values like love, forgiveness, joy, care, righteousness, peace, prosperity, healing, diligence, purity, good character, excellence, patience, faithfulness etc.
These goals will be passed on to the children when they come.

Generally, there shouldn’t be a limit to what can be discussed in a courtship/relationship. It is wise to speak up and ask questions especially about things you have concerns about. Communicate and avoid assumptions like a plague.

Special thanks to Mrs B. Andrews, Chef George, Mrs. O, and Chef Paul for their huge contributions to this post.

What other topics should be discussed before marriage? Leave a comment and let us continue the conversation below.