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Do I really want to get married? Does a believer have to get married? Let us have this honest conversation.

Apart from the fact that in Nigeria, once you conclude a certain level of formal education, you are expected to get married and start a family of your own, what other reason do you have for wanting to get married?

Last week, the thoughts of marriage filled my mind. It didn’t just sprout out of nowhere. It was initiated by different things; social media posts, wedding pictures everywhere, discussions with people, etc.

I had had a discussion with a senior colleague who was encouraging me to get married in school since I am running a 6-year course, the country is making it longer than 6 years already, and many of my mates aren’t waiting anymore. They’re getting married.

The conversation was an interesting one. This senior colleague of mine is a good conversationalist. He almost made me start considering getting married the next week because of the great points he raised and how fun he made marriage sound. He was very convincing. Lol.

It’s funny how this happened just last week. And this week, I am in an entirely different mental space. A space where I’m asking myself why I want to get married and if marriage is necessary.

Just last week, I wanted to tie the nuptial knot so bad. This week, I’m asking myself if I really want to do this marriage thing and why.

I honestly believe that it is super important for every single person to get to this point where they ask themselves this question and answer it honestly.

A young lady asked me a question sometime last year. She wanted to know if marriage was compulsory and if women have to get married to fulfil purpose. I answered in the negative of course. Giving her scriptural backing and examples.

The only thing that is a do or die affair is salvation. Not marriage.

Marriage is not a criteria or prerequisite for heaven.

Even purpose. Unless your purpose/assignment is directly linked to marriage, and having children, you can fulfil purpose without getting married.

Don’t get me wrong. Marriage is good, beautiful, and very beneficial. But not for everyone.

Marriage is a big deal. A huge one. An enormous commitment.

It requires a lot of intentionality, practical Christianity, and work.
Add this to the fact that a large percentage of women, especially in my part of the world, become worse versions of themselves when they get married. Was this God’s intention? Absolutely not.

Marriage is an adumbration of the union between Christ and the church. We know that that union is a beautiful one that benefits the bride in amazing ways.
But when we begin to see that the version of marriage around us is one that leaves us in a terrible state, we need to dissect it and look into it. And not just rush into it because it looks like what everyone is doing and what is expected of us.

Does a believer have to get married?

If you do not want to get married, scripture is clear on that. You do not have to.

But if you want to get married, I think it is really important for you to ask yourself why.

Why do I want to get married?
Answering this question will help you better prepare, plan, and choose a partner wisely.

Even though Apostle Paul recommends that people who desire marriage, get married so that they don’t “burn” (be consumed in passion, continually battle with lust), I think that sex should not be your only reason for getting married.

It just isn’t a strong enough reason.

Plus, making that your only or primary reason will cloud your judgement, make you hasty, and may leave you disappointed.

God created marriage for companionship, support, procreation, and intimacy.

But He didn’t say that marriage would be a walk in the park, without issues and differences. No, He didn’t.

In fact, in the first marriage that the Bible shows us, there were issues. Issues so big that led to our need for redemption.

If two people who had no parents, were created by God, and placed in the same garden could have differences to the point of throwing blames at each other, (Gen 3:12), it is not very wise to expect a perfect relationship void of differences with someone who has different parents, orientation, perspective, and personality from you.

Living with someone and choosing to be committed to them will be challenging sometimes. Apostle Paul stated one of his reasons for encouraging people to stay unmarried in 1 Corinthians 7:28 GNB.

Marriage is beautiful and can be very enjoyable but it can not complete or fulfil you, if you aren’t already complete in God and yourself.

It also comes with its responsibilities;
Do you want it?
Are you ready to put in the work?
Do you have someone worth going on that journey with? (Because trust me, not everyone is worth it. When you look closely at some people’s behavior, and tendencies, you’d rather remain single and burn than go on a lifelong commitment with them).

Do you want to get married? Tell me why in the comments below. If you don’t, I’d love to know why too!

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Surprise Proposal on her Birthday. George and Evan’s Love and Proposal Story. #madetolove.

Set me as a seal over your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death, passionate love unrelenting as the grave. Its darts are darts of fire— divine flame! Rushing waters can’t quench love; rivers can’t wash it away. If someone gave all his estate in exchange for love, he would be laughed to utter shame.”

The Bible

Today, we’re getting all the feels as we bring you a beautiful story of Love. A beautiful relationship on the journey of building a Godly Home.

Evan said yes to the love of her life on the 30th of June 2020 in a surprise proposal that George planned. What should have been a simple birthday shoot for Evan became her proposal and the couple will be saying their vows before God and family in a few months time.

George narrated their proposal story to us and it’s the most beautiful thing ever. Read it below.

From George,

“The proposal was originally planned for 2019. That was when I received the concept. So, I started planning towards her 2019 birthday but somehow, it didn’t work and I believe it’s because it just wasn’t time yet.
When 2020 came, I was looking at proposing early in the year but with the whole pandemic thing, I could not travel so, I decided to fall back to the original birthday plan.
Evan is a very smart girl so she was bound to find out. Her birthday is on the 30th of June and she had said in time past that she loved birthday proposals. So she would have known that I was planning to give her that. In order to get her mind off it and successfully pull off the surprise, I had to pray.
Because she had told me that she would be so prayerful and in partnership with the Holy Spirit that she’d know when it was going to happen. So the only thing I could do to shift her mind from it was pray and plan.
I went ahead of her and prayed to get her mind off it. Then I crafted a plan to distract her. I talked about the proposal with her and made her believe there’d be no surprise and we’d just have a small proposal at a private dinner.
So we “agreed” that we’d have a proposal in July when I came to Abuja. She believed I wouldn’t be in Abuja earlier than July. So we began planning ahead of July. I started making arrangements for her dress and hair and other general plans.
On my end, I was already making plans to surprise her for her birthday in June. So I called @culinarypaul, a couple of close friends and her siblings to help.
We successfully made the plan, but when the time started approaching, the lockdown was still in place and the interstate travel restrictions was still a little strict, but I was really determined to do the proposal on her birthday. So I was left with very few options. I couldn’t fly (airports were closed) so I had to go by road.
I needed a good venue and I wanted her to be dressed for the occasion so I told her that I had planned a photoshoot for her birthday with @solomonoluwatisinphotography as part of her birthday package since I couldn’t be there.
So she dressed with a photo shoot in mind. We talked about stuff like choice of outfits and I suggested that she wore her dinner dress which was supposed to be for our proposal in July. But she objected saying she wanted to reserve the dinner dress for our special moment.
That was a dilemma for me because I needed her to be wearing the red dress when I would propose but I couldn’t press too much if not I’d give something away and she’d begin to suspect.
I made her sister try to convince her but she didn’t budge.Thankfully, she called me sometime later saying she had reconsidered and would take a few pictures with the dress.

Two days to the D-day, I got on the road and didn’t want her to suspect so I had to pretend like my battery was low. It was a frustrating experience because I had to refrain from calling her and we had not stayed without communicating with each other for up to 24hours in a long time so it felt strange. She’d call and I’d have to makeup stories.
Fortunately, everything worked according to plan eventually. I got to Abuja and started finalizing plans. I got to the venue and was part of the people who decorated. And she wasn’t aware.
We got a saxophonist and other nice stuff just to surprise her.
I persuaded her that I would pay for a service apartment for her photoshoot as against a studio rental. She wanted to know why, and I said it was due to the pandemic. A studio rental wouldn’t be a safe option. I told her I wanted her to celebrate her birthday in the apartment, I had paid for food so she could eat after her shoot.
On the 30th of June which is Evan’s birthday, she went for her photoshoot first at the studio then proceeded to the service apartment to continue. Unknown to her, I was already in the premises, in the kitchen.
She had already taken off her red dress to change outfits but I had to tell them to persuade her to put it back on because she had to be in the red dress for the proposal. They told her that they wanted to take a few more shots in the red dress so she had to change.
After she changed, they made a blindfold on her to usher in her birthday surprise. Then, I walked into the room.
She was so so shocked. I achieved the surprise proposal and that happens to be one of the happiest and best moments of my life.”

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you … I could walk through my garden forever.”― Alfred Tennyson

Their Love Story

From Evan:

“Ours is a story of Love, Faith and Hope.We met on campus and became friends in our first year in the university ?. Sometime in 2015, George told me I was nothing short of the woman he would love to spend the rest of his life with. But we didn’t start dating until 2018 when he again asked me to consider his intentions, which I did.On the 30th of June 2020, I said YES to the man created for me in the presence of our friends and family.We are just a boy and a girl greatly helped by God.”

Read: Grace and Emmanuel found love in church

“God’s love supply is never empty.”

From George;

“We were made to Love.
Love they often say is a beautiful thing, but then Love is far more than a thing ’cause Love is God, We love because we were created in His likeness and We tend to Love more and better the closer we are to God. My Love for Evan is a God thing and that’s why it’s limitless, timeless and has no boundary as I often tell her it’s like an irreversible reaction.

The next best thing that happened to me after my salvation encounter was meeting my best friend, and this happened in 2015.
Fastforward to the 30th of June 2020 being her Birthday, I asked the most beautiful woman I’ve met and will ever meet to marry me and She said Yes!
It’s so thrilling and exciting to be getting married to my best friend. I have no fears for our future because our union is firmly established in God. I am ready to show our generation pure and undiluted love, I am ready to rewrite the narrative. I am ready to be your Lifetime Personal Chef, Evan ??. I thank God for bringing you into my life!”

Read: Grace and Emmanuels wedding; the journey to forever

How beautiful are their stories? ?

There’s no better foundation to lay your love relationship on than God who is Love Himself and it’s always a delight seeing couples who have chosen to make God the first party of their 3 fold cord.

Watch this space and subscribe via your email below for more information on #EvaGeezy2020

Marriage Is Not The End Of The Search For Love. It’s The End Of The Search For The Person To Love. The Search For Ways To Love That Person Has Just Begun”

George and Evan’s relationship blog on Instagram here

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The Fish and the Ocean || The book that will transform your marriage

In the spirit of the love season (yes, it’s still love season here on the blog. Love never ends), I want to share with you my amazing readers something that changed my life.

As you all know, I’m a very big fan of love and you can always count me in on anything relationship and marriage related.

I have always envisioned having a beautiful home where love is the anthem and peace, the major theme but as I grew up, the chances of that happening began to look slim.
Not because I didn’t think I could meet the right person or be the right person but because I am growing daily to see that two good people don’t make a great marriage. It takes much more.

In fact, two good people can come together in marriage and end up becoming monsters because marriage is beyond two people living together.

I feel like there’s a special attack on marriages today. It’s alarming how marriages are failing and crumbling daily. The things I see and the stories I hear are most of the time, heart wrenching.

As I grow daily, I realize more and more that having a thriving marriage is no joke. Marriage is a mystery and it requires a LOT OF THE RIGHT KNOWLEDGE which is why when I read this book called The Fish and the Ocean (Beyond the bends, embrace your marital destiny) by Olusola and Abimbola Tayo-Bamidele, I knew I couldn’t keep it to myself. I need more people to be armed with the right knowledge on marriage, leading to more healthy and beautiful homes.

If you only believe in the physical aspect of marriages/relationships and not the spiritual then this post isn’t for you.

This post is for people who see the bigger picture. People who know that marriage is not just about two people who feel flutters and butterflies in their bellies and want to get hooked and make babies.

People who know that God is an integral part of marriage because He instituted it and has a purpose for it.

This post is for that person who wants to excel in marriage and family life and is willing to work with God and with their partner as they tend their garden and make it a safe haven, not just for them and their offsprings but for anyone who needs such shelter.

This book is for that person who has had a very rough marriage but is not willing to give up just yet.
If you fall into any of the category above, please keep reading and be sure to place an order for the book (details are below)

The Fish and the Ocean is not your regular marriage book. My initial plan was to review this book but along the way, I realized that I wouldn’t do justice to the book and I’d be robbing you of many treasures embedded in the book. So, I’d rather you read it yourself.

The authors shared very personal experiences especially from their early years of marriage; this is one thing that blessed me the most about this book. The experiences they shared are proof that a lot of problems that tear marriages and couples apart today, are things that can be fixed. They, using their experiences, practical life scenarios and God’s Word, addressed issues like:

– Activating God’s blessings for marriage.

– The kind of mindset that makes you have a failed marriage even before you get married.
– The original purpose of marriage
– How to become one in marriage
– Your spouse vs Other commitments
– Bonding in marriage
– The different amazing roles of the woman in marriage (One of my favorites)
-The different roles of the man in marriage
– The woman, being the breadwinner of the family.
– Financial issues in marriage
– Nagging as a woman and the results
– Life stories and Prayers

There’s so much more!

Ever seen a movie or read a book that changed your mind and blessed you so much that you couldn’t wait to tell people about it? You keep telling your friends and persuading them to get this movie/book because you are confident that they will be changed.

This is my case with “The Fish and The Ocean”.
Dear friends, if you have plans to succeed in marriage, don’t let this book pass you by. I was privileged to edit this book and I can’t even remember how many times I had to pause in between to go on my knees and pray.

For People in Nigeria

You can place your orders manually by Paying N5000 to ILAFAN Global Services, Gtbank, 0537322625
Then send the following to 08102526940 via WhatsApp:

  • Evidence of payment
  • Your full name
  • The address you want the book delivered to (church, home, office etc)
  • A functional phone number that can be called.
  • The referral code RC: 1004-0000-0000 (This will help me get a token for referring you. Support your blogger please, thank you ?)

For people outside Nigeria,

Buy from Amazon here

Or here (Paper back)

I am fortified with the right knowledge for marriage. Are you?

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