Tag: Love

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IMPORTANT KEYS AND SCRIPTURES FOR A HEALTHY CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIP.

The world has different pictures of what an “ideal relationship” is and should be. Everyone seems to know what is required to maintain a great relationship.

Christians in love relationships ought to know that they’re different. They can’t subscribe and conform to the world’s description of “dating”.

As much as we’d love to go with everything trending, we have a blueprint and a template in the Bible.

This doesn’t mean Christian relationships are boring and no fun or that they’re rigid, monotonous and the same. No.

In fact, they’re very interesting, fun and fulfilling.

God is love so it’s only wise that His Word be our reference for Love related issues.

That you and your partner are Christians doesn’t make you both perfect. Neither does it mean the relationship will be without challenges or that your effort isn’t needed to make things work.

Painfully, I’ve watched many people in love relationships who love God and each other go their separate ways due to “unreconcilable differences”. Fights and disagreement that could have been avoided or sorted out led to huge messes that eventually erupted into something that couldn’t be fixed.

I’m not a relationship expert but from God’s Word, books I’ve read and people I’ve seen, I’ve coined out major ingredients that are very essential for a Christian relationship to thrive and scriptures in line.

Yes, you can have a happy Godly relationship with someone who loves God as much you do.

It is important you read this if you’re in a relationship to make things better and if you’re not to plan ahead.

Apart from passionately loving your partner, here are few very important keys you must know.

As you read, may your spirit he receptive and open to learn and make corrections.

Love God FIRST

A lot of people cry to God for partners, someone they can worship God and serve the purposes of His kingdom with, but as soon as that person comes walking into their life, guess what happens?

Yes, you guessed right. God is taken to the back seat.

How do you expect your “GODLY” relationship to thrive without GOD?

Matthew 22 37-39

NIV

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Nothing and nobody should come before God, not even your partner.

Your time for God shouldn’t decrease because you got into a relationship.

Scrolling through your phone looking at their pictures shouldn’t replace flipping through your Bible to know the mind of God.

Night calls shouldn’t replace your quiet time and prayer time.

God wants you to love selflessly but He must come first in your heart and that of your partner. He is a jealous God.

When you get so caught up in the euphoric atmosphere of “being in love” that you forget God, it is only a matter of time before that love begins to fade and wane.

Sacrifice

Relationships are all about giving. The Bible tells us that God so loved the world and as a result of the love He has for us, He GAVE His only begotten son.

No relationship can thrive without sacrificial giving. You can’t always have enough for two and that is where sacrifice comes in.

The greatest proof of love is sacrifice.

Time, money, ego and more will have to be laid down for the sake of your partner. Sacrifice involves putting your partner first.

1 John 3:16 NIV: This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

Intercession

The name of your partner should not only be in your mouth when you want to tell people of the amazing things they do. Their name should always be mentioned in your prayers.

Always pray for your partner.

They may be going through things they can’t discuss with you or fighting battles they don’t want to bother you with. Always stand in the gap and intercede. Your prayers can avert dangers they didn’t even know were looming above them.

Always pray for your relationship.

The Devil hates to see anything that looks good for God’s Kingdom so he can send in little seeds and vices in an attempt to destroy what you’re building. When you’re ignorant of his devices, little things will creep in and all of a sudden, you “don’t feel too right” about it anymore.

Accountability

“Accountability is willingness to explain your actions” – Dr Mike Murdock.

I was under a teaching during the week and the speaker said he’d been trying to teach his lady about accountability.

He said accountability starts from the little things like explaining why you missed your partner’s call or why you’re late for your meeting or date.

Being accountable, entails you acknowledging that you can’t do things anyhow and explaining why when you do.

Tolerance.

(Note that I’m not talking about abuse, harmful habits or toxic relationships)

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3, NLT),

Many people expect perfection from others so they begin to complain and feel uncomfortable when the flaws of their partner is revealed to them.

Nobody is perfect even if they’re Christians. That your partner loves God does not make them God.

They’ll love you enough to work on certain traits you’re not comfortable with but you must also love them enough to put up with other flaws that they can’t seem to get rid of.

Forgiveness

And learn to let go.

1 Peter 4:8NIV: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

If any party lacks the ability to forgive in a relationship, the end of the relationship is very near. Sometimes, don’t ask questions, just forgive and let go.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32, NASB)

Praying together.

Matt 18:19

ESV:Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

20

ESV:For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Praying together is a great form of intimacy.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy,
Love does not boast,
Love is not proud.

Love

does not dishonor others,
Love is not self-seeking,
Love is not easily angered,
Love keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Love

always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Related post: 10 Amazing marriages 💍👑👫👰 I follow and lessons I’ve learnt.

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5 Amazing Marriages I Follow and Lessons I’ve Learned.

Happy Friday guys!

I’d love to tag today #CoupleCrushFriday

If you read my blog then you probably already know that I’m a “family person” but you may not know that I’m a “love person” too.

I love Love.

Everything you want has a model. No matter how “new” your dreams seem, there’s always someone who has done something similar, someone you can look up to and learn from while you input your own peculiarity.

I have couples I really admire and follow faithfully. One of which is my parents; I’ve learnt love, sacrifice, prayer and humility from them so my major couple crush are my parents.

Outside home, I have quite a number of people whose marriages are a representation of what I think marriage should be and I thought it right to share some with you guys.

For each couple, I’ll share at least one lesson their marriage has taught me.

1. Pastor Toure and First Lady, Pastor Sarah Roberts :

Whoever knows me very well would have predicted this before they even saw it. Sarah Jakes Roberts is the daughter of Bishop TD Jakes.

Sarah Jakes is my role model for many reasons, the major reason is that I share A LOT of peculiarities with her. I’ve followed her life for some years now and I greatly admire her so it was only normal for me to fall in love with her marriage with Toure.

There’s a whole lot to say about her and I hope to make a blog post about her, soon. Touré Roberts and his wife Sarah Jakes Roberts are co-pastors of One Church L.A. Touré has been named one of America’s top 100 influencers under 45 by TheRoot.com. He is the author of Purpose Awakening.

Their first date was a unique and amazing one. Sarah narrated; “He picked me up at my hotel and I remember that from the moment that I saw him when I got off the elevator I felt vulnerable and naked. Not naked like he’s looking at me, but naked like, I don’t think I can hide anything from him. There is something within me that wanted to be the truest version of myself with him. There was something that made me feel safe. Everything from him watching how I came down the stairs to him opening the door for me at the restaurant, it made me feel like for the first time in a very, very long time, I could be a soft, feminine, dainty woman and fall into the arms of a real man that could hold me down.”

Lessons: Toure and Sarah have taught me love in spite of flaws and failings. They also taught me that there’s no one who does not deserve to be loved. From them, I’ve also learnt the power in getting a partner who knows the Word and prays.

Toure’s line for asking Sarah out was “I want to serve you” that’s enough lesson for the guys. Selah.

Finally, I learnt how important it is to honor your partner. Toure always listens with rapt attention when Sarah speaks and Sarah does likewise; no room for familiarity.

2. Capt Tunde Demuren and Tolu (Toolz) Oniru : Captain and his princess tied the knot in 2016 and I’ve always admired what they share.

Lessons: I’ve learnt the power of money (lol). Love is sweeter when you and your husband are rich 😂 .

I’ve learnt the power of relationships! Captain and Toolz have friends in “high places ” hehe.

They support their friends all the time; at weddings and functions, no wonder they have this wonderful string of connection with almost everybody.

3. Timi and Busola Dakolo : Do I have to talk? I mean, everybody loves them!

Lessons: Don’t choose anything over your partner, not even career. Be proud of who you married. Be yourself with your spouse.

4. Pastor Sam and Pastor Nike Adeyemi :

I honor this couple a lot. Anointing and wisdom.

Lessons: If their vision don’t marry yours, don’t marry them!

5. My future husband and I 😂😂😍

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Lesson: Follow God and the right people and your marriage will be heaven on earth.

Have a great weekend guys!

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MY ROOMMATES

Hi faithful readers.

It’s been a while, I’m sorry for my prolonged silence; I was writing exams.

I’m done with my second semester exams, which implies that I’m moving to a new level (yayyy💃) and moving to another room (😭).

The thought of getting familiar with another set of people and getting to understand them has been on my mind.

God put it in my heart to share this because He’s been helping me lately with my relationship with people.

At the beginning of the year, I clicked a room in the hostel and met new faces who were later to become my friends and sisters; meet them.

PS:

  • My proximity and closeness to them determines how much I can say about them.

SOPHIA

Tall, beautiful and very intelligent Edo girl. Her fashion sense is on a hundred 💯. She’s blunt and down to earth, an amazing cook and a selfie addict.

Also a passionate lover of football.
She’s the only person I can relate to almost totally, also the only person in the room that understands almost everything I say. She’s very caring and very sacrificial. Loves sleep too much and goes for lectures 30minutes or an hour late.

But…
She gets moody at random and shuts everyone out.
She could be very rude and annoying. She expects everyone to be polite to her; you can’t get your own stuff back from her without saying a “please”.

Most of the time, she’s very unapologetic about her actions.

HALIMA

Also very beautiful and a fashionista. Very funny and lovely to be with. Has a tiny voice that on it’s own, makes you laugh. We always tease her that her husband doesn’t need TV, she’s enough entertainment. Never a dull moment with her.
Foodie 💯; if allowed, she can have breakfast 3 times.

But…
Practices favoritism. Sometimes very rude and speaks rashly (may not be intentional).

Doesn’t filter her words.

HIRHYEL (MY BUNK MATE)

Dark and beautiful northern Christian.
Not a fashion person. Super cook. Book smart and intelligent.
Sometimes, she can be caring for Africa.

But…

Sometimes, speaks rudely to everybody without giving regard.
Speaks slowly but poisonously.
Withdraws to herself a lot.

ASIYA.

Beautiful northern girl. Speaks very good English.
Great talker; story teller of the room.
Hates cooking.

But…
Sometimes, decides to be on her own, just like that!
Could be sarcastic.

Cherishes her bed and doesn’t want anybody on it (as if that were possible 😒)
Has a sharp piercing voice that can raise the dead (We call her soprano voice)

KHADIJAH

Beautiful fulani girl with beautiful long curly hair.
Loves her books more than anything in the world.
Could read a whole day nonstop, if allowed.
Fashionista; she sews and wears the most beautiful Ankara styles in the room. Make up artist and selfie addict.

But…
Her reading habit makes every other person in the room look like they’re not serious.
A little secretive.

MARIA

Dark northerner. Great talker and story teller. Nice and sacrificial.

But…
Very sarcastic and rude. Talks way too much and wants everyone silent while she speaks – which means we won’t be talking in a while.

MUNARH

Very pretty Igala girl. Fashion sense 💯😍. Introvert💯.
Very humble and nice. Quiet and reserved. Very open to learning new things.

But…
Always with her phone and hardly speaks to anyone. Sometimes ignores you when you talk because talking is stressful for her.
Never in the mood to go out so she bails on us most times when we plan to go out together.

Dupe. (MY HUMBLE SELF)

Beautiful Yoruba girl😊.

Fashionista.
Very intelligent. Jesus lover that never stops playing worship in the room. Cares for everyone and wants to know why you’re moody, if you’ve eaten, where you’re going and when you’ll be back.
Hates cooking.

But…
Withdraws to herself sometimes.
Comes in from church very late almost everyday and disturbs everybody’s sleep. Phone rings at any time of the day.

Plays worship as soon as she’s up and messgaes during the day and everybody has to listen.
Gets upset whenever anyone sits on her bed or makes use of her properties without her consent.

First semester was tough for all of us. We were always having issues with one another. We lacked understanding and mutual agreement.

Everybody had an issue or two with another person.

Today, you think “oh I think she’s better, I like her” and tomorrow, she shows you a side of her, you’ll detest.

But second semester I got to understand everyone of them (including myself) and saw the good in them, regardless of their shortcomings.

When I saw the;

-beauty and wonder in SOPHIA
-beauty and humility in HALIMA
-beauty and good intentions in HIRHYEL
-beauty and plainness in ASIYA
-beauty and ambition in KHADIJAH
-beauty and sacrifice in MARIA
-beautiful and pleasant personality MUNARH is
-beauty and love in DUPE.

I began to relate with them better. I understood them and tried to see things from their point of view and not judge. I leant their values and respected them.

Could it be, that the reason you’re having people issues is due to lack of mutual understanding and respect?

Could it be that you’re always at loggerheads with someone because you don’t see things like them?

Could it be that you do not like people because all you see is the bad in them and not the good?

When you understand people, respect their values, see things from their perspective and never judge them based on their actions, you’ll relate better with them and love them.

There is nobody who is bad; this is the secret to loving everyone.
When you understand that people are slaves to their understanding, then you can look at someone “unlovable” and still love them.

-Apostle Joshua Selman

I urge you dear reader, never write anyone off. Give them the chance.

There’s a good in everyone you meet.

There are no bad people, just people with bad behaviors. You don’t want to know what some of them have been through.
Change them if you can and if you can’t, just love them.